tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-68855727684580121912024-03-13T00:46:37.996-07:00Crumbs, Eggshells, and My Two CentsKarenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06827083955337636228noreply@blogger.comBlogger87125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6885572768458012191.post-64480077524590543882013-02-18T15:56:00.001-08:002013-02-18T15:56:58.561-08:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Today is Pappaw's birthday. February 18th. It's a date that will always bring him to mind. This is our first without him with us. It seems like I should still be able to call and sing to him like I did each year, or that we should have been sitting in church together yesterday like we always were when we were celebrating. <br />
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Instead, I sat alone. Not really, because there were people sitting around me, but I felt alone. I tried to imagine him sitting at the end of the row, in his purple coat, smiling with his family alongside him. If I tried really hard, I could feel him there, and I do try often, because I do miss him so.<br />
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You see, they just don't make many men like him any more. Strong, determined, loyal, hardworking, faithful, kind, loving, protective... I could go on and on. He was one of the few men I have loved most in my life, and he set a high standard for me. He always wanted the very best for me, and he was always proud of me. He never failed to tell me so.<br />
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He left home a young man before it was legal to serve his country in the U.S. Navy. He was a handsome sailor, tanned and strong, unsure of where life was taking him. It quickly took him to my grandmother, thankfully, and their love story began.<br />
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Life was not easy for them by any means, but they were married just weeks short of 65 years. He was a fisherman, a hunter, and a loom fixer by trade. More than anything, he was a husband, a father of two girls, eventually a grandfather of 1 girl and two boys, and a great-grandfather of 1 boy and 5 girls. He was so proud of his family too. Well, mostly, he was humbled that God had blessed him with such a loving family, and he wasn't ashamed to tell you so.<br />
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When I was little, I loved spending time with Pappaw. He taught me how to clean fish, and he took me to the garbage dump in his truck. I know what you're thinking: "Not a big thrill". However, riding somewhere with my Pappaw was a big deal because I had all of his attention. When I sat beside him on the couch, he would sometimes squeeze my knee so hard that I would slide down out of my seat. I would pretend to be bothered, but I always went back to sit next to him. I felt like I was sitting next to a giant.<br />
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Pappaw was so funny. He didn't mean to be most of the time, but he said things sometimes that just caught you off guard and made you laugh. He didn't have a mean bone in his body, and he didn't talk bad about other people. I loved to hear him laugh too, and nothing made him smile and laugh more than his children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren.<br />
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I just miss his presence. When someone is so strong, they can walk into a room and you can just feel that they are there. Much of it for Pappaw was that he was so well-respected. I can't imagine having ever disrespected him, because I always just wanted him to be proud of me.<br />
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In the last days, his strength was failing. You could see in his eyes that he was struggling with not being able to do the things he once did. He couldn't mow the grass or drive cars for the local dealership. He couldn't lean down and pick up the great-grands and swing them into the air. He tried to smile and laugh, but it didn't come naturally. He was struggling with living in his last days.<br />
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I had a dream on a Friday night at the end of September about my Pappaw. I woke up and just couldn't shake it. I had to see him, and on Sunday I did. He was asleep most of the time I was there, but he did wake up a few times to visit with the girls and me. When we got ready to leave that day, he stood up out of his chair, and he hugged each one of us. I held him a little longer that day, and his rough hands felt just as strong as they ever had. He looked me in my eyes and said, "I love you, baby, and I'm proud of you." It was the last thing I would ever hear him say. He collapsed the next day.<br />
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It's one of the most devastating losses I've ever endured, losing my Pappaw. I know he's at full strength now, having joined our many family members in Heaven, but if I try real hard, I can still feel him here. He made more of an impression on me than he ever knew, but he knew I loved him and wanted to make him proud. In return, I knew he loved me, and, as he told me on that last day, he was proud of the woman I have become. It makes me stronger to think of him, knowing what he would expect of me. I am so thankful for my Pappaw, and I hope I will always feel him here with me when I try real hard.Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06827083955337636228noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6885572768458012191.post-35788143595909704742013-02-07T13:38:00.000-08:002013-02-07T13:38:14.998-08:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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My life verse. Be still. (And know.) <br />
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It's interesting that I was led to this verse on occasions that I didn't really have any reason not to be still. There have been times in my life that I've been too busy, or at least I thought I was, and I took this verse literally as I would just stop and enjoy some empty time for a bit. As I have grown older, I realize how much more this verse means.<br />
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Be still. Have you ever just been lying in bed, completely still, with your mind still racing a million miles a minute? Sure, we all have. These are the times when I have to concentrate most on this verse, but over the past few years it has also given me peace through some crazy experiences. <br />
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Be still. Our very spirit can become restless, uneasy, sometimes, and we are commanded to "be still and know". That means we have to stop, reel it in a moment, and realize that God is in control of whatever the situation may be, and our breath and our stress is being needlessly wasted. I tend to not worry about much, or when I do it isn't very long-lived. It's because I have this verse ingrained in my very spirit, because there are so many times that I just have to be still and know that He is God. If we don't believe this, and we don't allow God to be God in the worst of situations, then what kind of faith do we really have? <br />
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At this very moment, I'm being still. I'm relying on the fact that God is God. I rest in knowing that as this messed up world spins with me on it, God is the very one spinning it. I rely on His comfort and peace. I know that in His infinite knowledge, God sits on His throne so that I can sit here and be still.<br />
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Be still.Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06827083955337636228noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6885572768458012191.post-56535351372443531122013-02-06T13:43:00.002-08:002013-02-06T13:43:45.415-08:00<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>I know what you're thinking... "Where have you been?!!" A year has passed since my last blog entry, and I truly just don't know where time has gone!</i></span><br />
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>February 2013. Wow. I will soon be 44 years old. Wow again. I just don't even know where to start. However, it's time for me to start writing again, for those of you who care, and I think this hobby of mine will prove to be therapy for me, and I hope to inspire or in some way touch lives while I vent.</i></span><br />
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>God has shown me so many things since I last posted. Honestly, life has not been real cool to me over the past months. Shoot, let's be honest, it's just been plain rough. I look forward to sharing some of these things, but for now I will leave it at this worldly struggle will not defeat me, because I know that God is leading me. Be on guard, friends, as the enemy is lurking out there, and he wants to kill, steal, and destroy. You can be as dedicated and faithful as possible, and still life will sometimes hand you something that leaves you scratching your head. Scratch away, and then decide that you may be temporarily down, but you are in no way out for the count!</i></span><br />
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Some things that I plan for 2013:</i></span><br />
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>*I will take care of me! Not at all meant in a selfish way, but I'm not getting any younger, and it's time I get back into shape!</i></span><br />
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>*I will continue to have fun! I really do enjoy doing silly things sometimes, and this year a biggie will be seeing Bon Jovi in concert in March nearly 26 years after the first time I saw them!</i></span><br />
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>*I will relish every moment I have with my kids! I always do, but they are just growing up so darn fast, we have a lot of memories to make and not much time to do it!</i></span><br />
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>*I will cherish the people I love in my life even more than ever. A future blog will tell you that I lost one of the men that I loved the very most in my life in the past few months, and his death affected me profoundly. Life is too short for us not to enjoy the people we love.</i></span><br />
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>*I will be a better friend. Gosh, I have some good friends out there. Some of you I haven't even seen for quite a while, and I'd like to change that.</i></span><br />
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>*I will learn a new hobby! I need something to do in my tiny bit of free time, but I also think that I have allowed my own needs to be pushed aside for long enough. It's time for some "me" time!</i></span><br />
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>*I will write more! (And, if things go well, I will pursue more writing opportunities!)</i></span><br />
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>*I will be stronger. I will be smarter. I will be the best me I can be! </i></span><br />
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Stay tuned!</i></span>Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06827083955337636228noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6885572768458012191.post-46174029694423346262012-01-05T13:28:00.000-08:002012-01-05T14:17:25.701-08:00A new year, and a new me...<span style="color:#3333ff;">In reflection of the past year, as it seems each year requires us to do, I have seen such changes in who I am. At first I felt that I had become a different person, and as I've thought more about it, I have actually become more of who I am.</span><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;"></span><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;">It's funny how you can be someone within and allow that to somehow be squelched to appear that you are someone very different. I don't want to toot my own horn at all, but my outer characteristics would appear to be kindness, friendliness, love, joy, energy, laughter, and sincerity. (Maybe others...) Inwardly, and to only those closest to me, I am also critical (of myself and others at times), stubborn, strong minded (slightly different than stubborn), opinionated, introspective (overthinker!), and I have high expectations of others. I'm sure there are other characteristics as well, but those are the ones that stand out the most to me.</span><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;"></span><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;">Over the past year, my inward characteristics have become more evident. I think it comes with age, and maybe with the flow of hormones, but I like to say that my filter just doesn't work like it used to.</span><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;"></span><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;">Problem is, I have filtered way too much. I have allowed others to control my actions for far too long. I have worried way too much about saying something that will offend someone or doing something that may hurt others. Truth is, if I'm living like the Christian I proclaim to be, those things shouldn't be an issue. </span><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;"></span><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;">The further truth is, in holding back from exhibiting my full personality, I think I was trying to avoid the idea of other people disliking me, thinking badly of me, or talking about me. What I have found is that if we are living according to the character that is within us, if someone else is taking part in the above actions, it is THEIR flaw, not mine.</span><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;"></span><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;">I have learned over the past year that I have little respect for people that arent' willing to work. If you're unable, fine, but if you can, work. At least make an effort. I also don't like excuses. Just own up to your responsibility and quit blaming others. Next, gossip destroys. If you don't truly know it, shut it, 'cause I don't want to hear it. If you want to hear it, you're not worth my time either. </span><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;"></span><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;">I also learned that taking up space in a church does not necessarily make one a Christian. The church is full of people that are living like Hell. On the flip side of that, the world is full of people that are making a difference. It's also full of hurting people that won't darken a church door because of their perception of those within. It's our fault, really, church. If we dress a certain way, smile a certain way, sing a certain way, "act" a certain way, and the outsider doesn't fit that way, should they really care to join us?</span><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;"></span><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;">This is what brings me to meeting people where they are, or as a young man I know so eloquently reminds us, "love people where they're at". Step out of that comfort zone. Sit with a homeless guy at Krispy Kreme so he can enjoy one more hour of rest in the warmth, and buy him a doughnut and coffee while you're at it. Believe me, it may just change your life. Gaze into a ministry that reaches families that are making their homes at a motel. Spend a few hours with them. Figure out how you can meet one of their needs, such as a warm jacket or box of food. Step into their world for a moment, and just see if you can walk away the same. Look for opportunities to meet needs around you. Sometimes all it takes is one simple thing.</span><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;"></span><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;">So 2012... What will it hold? Ups, downs, tears, laughter... Blessings for sure, and opportunities. It's mostly what we make of it, as it is our choice as to how we deal with it. I resolve to continue my quest of not holding back. I will work harder, love harder, laugh harder, and live stronger. I will be aware of those around me who are truly in need. I will value my friends more, and I have developed some AMAZING friendships over the past year. I will spend more time with my family. I will spend less time trying to meet someone else's schedule and/or expectations and less time worrying about what they think when I don't. </span><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;"></span><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;">I will continue to love the Lord with all of my heart and live for Him. I will strive to know Him better each day. (As I'm already learning....) I will be a better wife and mother. I will be better to myself and not dismiss my own needs while not putting them above others'. Yep, it sounds like another busy year with a lot to live up to.... But in reality, it's just another opportunity to learn and grow and fully become the person God intends for me to be.</span>Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06827083955337636228noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6885572768458012191.post-5678764571781633742011-11-17T17:05:00.000-08:002011-11-17T17:35:14.386-08:00Happy Anniversary!<span style="color:#3366ff;">It was a cool and windy day 21 years ago, not a cloud in the sky. I was nervous, but not about the decision I had made or the trip down the aisle. I was not looking forward to being the center of attention. I understand the concept, but there is a part of me now that believes the sacred affair should be reserved for those closest to you.</span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;"></span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;">We had a couple hundred of those closest to us. Friends, family, friends of family, and probably others.... Some who knew us, many who didn't. The church was packed from front to back and side to side. Quite an impressive and intimidating thought when I reflect these years later. </span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;"></span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;">Luckily I didn't think of that when I was walking down the aisle. I was way too naive I guess, but all I wanted was to become Mrs. Kenneth Mauney. My focus was only on becoming his wife and doing what I knew God wanted me to do.</span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;"></span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;">It was a great day, much like a dream. We rushed through the motions and finally sped away in the car, on our way to Asheville for our first time away together. We ordered pizza that night because we were starving and exhausted, and it ended up being an early night for us in spite of it being our sacred wedding night. (And it was totally sacred to us!)</span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;"></span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;">The 21 years that have followed that night have also been much like a dream. At times it's been more nightmarish, but most times it's been a dream from which I wouldn't want to wake. When you build a life with someone, investing in each others' lives, rearing 4 children together, going through nearly losing 2 of them, sicknesses, taking care of each other through times of mourning, and generally sharing good days and bad, you get kind of attached to them. In fact, you become quite dependent on each other, loving unconditionally, partners for life.</span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;"></span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;">I picture us in 21 years from now much like we are this moment... Ken watching television, I on the computer, the kids already having turned in for the night. To some it may sound sad, lame, or boring, but I so hope it's where we find ourselves in 21 years. It would be an honor to still be sharing the same space together, and I can't imagine my life without him. I am still proud to be Mrs. Kenneth Lee Mauney.</span>Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06827083955337636228noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6885572768458012191.post-61750677662703461632011-11-16T16:35:00.000-08:002011-11-16T17:03:00.314-08:00I'm not sure what happened...<span style="color:#3366ff;">Life happens. It sneaks up on us from behind, and it gooches us into the sudden awareness that, well, we need to be more aware. </span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;"></span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;">Our lives can quickly get bogged down with day to day living, with errands and chores and work and play. One day, you turn around, and you just feel old.</span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;"></span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;">I've been struggling a bit lately as I've started noticing lines on my face that weren't there a year ago and gray hairs that are harder and harder to cover with Miss Clairol. It's as if 42 years hit me all at once, and suddenly I'm standing in front of the mirror wondering where did time go?</span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;"></span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;">Tomorrow I celebrate 21 years of marriage. I don't use the word "celebrate" lightly, because, doggonnitt, isn't it just a blessing to be able to spend 21 years loving the same person? Like my parents and grandparents before me, I take marriage very seriously, and I find it unfortunate that too many others do not. I truly believe that it's a reason for the state of the world we live in.</span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;"></span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;">Don't get me wrong, I don't think every divorce has screwed up the kids involved. Some have grown stronger I'm sure. However, when selfishness seems to be the center of a split, the children truly become the victims. I see this every day at school. Kids screaming out for attention in one way or another. The cry for help I see in their faces is sometimes overwhelming. I wonder what their parents are thinking when they fight back and forth, pulling the children with them. I wonder how they justify dumping grown-up problems on 9 year old children. Just today, a beautiful young lady just spilled her guts to me, and it was obvious that she was in intense pain and unsure how to voice it to anyone. She ended up in tears, and I reassured her, but deep down, I just wasn't sure what I could say to bring that child's world back together.</span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;"></span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;">When a wife tells a husband that he's useless when he loses a job and that she's worth more than him, kicking him to the curb for the next best thing to come along, she teaches her children to give up. She shows them when the going gets tough, the tough give up and move along. She's modeling to her child that love is conditional. I believe it leaves children wondering what they in turn have to do for mom to give up on them.</span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;"></span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;">When a husband decides to go out drinking with his buddies, placing more importance on them than his own family, he leaves children feeling insecure. He makes them feel that they aren't good enough to get dad's attention. He teaches them that it doesn't matter how you treat your spouse as long as you eventually come home. Or, when he chooses instead to run off with the younger model, he once again makes his children feel that his own life is more important than they are, or that they have to be exceptional to garner his attention.</span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;"></span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;">Darnit, why can't we model security and stability? Are we so screwed up in our society that we've forgotten the importance of it? Are we just so selfish that we don't care what it does to our children? Do we just decide that we are going to leave them fending for themselves, becoming whatever this world shapes them to be? Why are children being left to take care of themselves at such an early age? What kind of examples are we setting for our kids, or are we even concerned with setting any kind?</span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;"></span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;">Kids are feeling so insecure and unstable these days that you can almost feel the pressure building inside them, and you can almost hear the steam escaping through silent screams. I think so much of the behavior problems we see today is just the bottling up of these emtions escaping in any way they can figure out. Their tiny little minds can't comprehend what they're feeling enough to express it, so they just act out in any way possible.</span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;"></span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;">Gosh, my plan was to talk about how blessed I am to have been married to my best friend for 21 years, and how my parents and grandparents have modeled such great examples of endurance to me. I guess that little girl made an impression on me today. She just wanted her daddy. Nothing more, nothing less. Luckily, he stepped in, and the child I saw walk away with him was not the same dark-eyed girl I had been talking to before his arrival. If parents only knew what a difference they make, good or bad. I'd like to think our society would be a better place if parents would just think.</span>Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06827083955337636228noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6885572768458012191.post-74784632164050418132011-08-12T18:47:00.000-07:002011-08-12T19:11:31.371-07:00Wow, it's been a while...<span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">I'm way overdue for this! So much water under the bridge since last I wrote, and the learning process over all of this time has been interesting. I think I'll jump right back in just like I haven't missed a beat.
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<br />First of all, before I really begin, my very human side would like to say that I'm sick and tired of people hurting each other and blowing by it like it's not a big deal. Yes, we are to forgive, but people in our world today are much too selfish and uncaring. Just because we stand for Christ doesn't mean we are doormats.
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<br />Hurt. Disappointed. Disillusioned. Devastated. Defeated. Insecure. Unhappy. Confused. Angry. Disgusted. The list could go on an on... I have felt all of these things in the past couple of weeks. In the midst of all of the wonderful exciting blessings of my life, stuff happens. It is interesting that it brought me to a realization.
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<br />Evil is alive and well in this world. When we are committed to doing the Lord's work, the enemy can use many things to try to defeat us. He even uses God's people sometimes. Christians become so complacent and think at times that we are above evil. Please. We are still human, and we can harm others before we even realize we're doing it. Subtle things creep into our lives and seep into the lives of others, and before we know it the enemy has won the battle. Thankfully, we as Christians have won the war.
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<br />I'm sure it sounds rather cryptic, but I have been reminded lately that humans are human, that Satan is real, and that as long as we are doing what is right in the eyes of the Lord, what others think doesn't matter. I have also been reminded that there are still Godly pastors out there, or at least one of them. I happen to think I have one of the best. He and his family are so special to me, and they have been wonderful friends to whom I can say pretty much anything. That's very cool, and I'm afraid in this messed up world that it's very rare.
<br />
<br />I've also been reminded that my first calling is my family. I was called to be a wife and mother first and foremost, and many times I lose focus on that, all clothed in good intentions. I've also learned that discouragement seeps into your very soul, and that the words people say really hurt sometimes, even when they don't intend for them to. I know that people can get caught up in things without even realizing it, sadly. All in all, I've been reminded that God has plenty for me to do that is not conditional on anyone or anything. His calling is His calling. It's my job to stay focused on it. Now, enough of that. Let's move along to something else...
<br />
<br />Until next time...
<br /></span>Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06827083955337636228noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6885572768458012191.post-79382363495050030412011-05-01T10:24:00.000-07:002011-05-01T11:01:22.744-07:00In memory...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjP4SbvrE0fRaoB2s8n5tkIGfTdu3WbzAx7NAqKIH9M8e1_0jwfuLCT1YFHfumkFH0Xn60681SEwndeduphaD_vK-mEg1SYzk52QAPRBiSG8WOwLiDydyoLWHWmUN_JybFH2xzu-iYRmw/s1600/ben.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 175px; height: 254px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjP4SbvrE0fRaoB2s8n5tkIGfTdu3WbzAx7NAqKIH9M8e1_0jwfuLCT1YFHfumkFH0Xn60681SEwndeduphaD_vK-mEg1SYzk52QAPRBiSG8WOwLiDydyoLWHWmUN_JybFH2xzu-iYRmw/s320/ben.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5601800470205895986" border="0" /></a><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">Our family has lost a vital member. The impact of his death has already affected many of us greatly. Even more than that, the impact of his life touched lives immensely along the path that he traveled.<br /><br />While I can't speak for others, I would like to share the direct impression that Reverend Ben Davis made on my life. Before I joined the family over 20 years ago, Ben had already made me feel at home and immediately made me realize that there was something special about him. It would take me hours of typing to cover each and every thing that he taught me, so I would like to share the most profound.<br /><br />Ben was a Methodist minister. I grew up in an intensely Southern Baptist family. Very little difference really, but I didn't know that when I was younger. I grew up thinking that Methodists were foreign, which is funny now that I'm older, and what Ben taught me is that denominations mean very little.<br /><br />Ben taught me that we are to love others as Christ loves us. Jesus befriended the lowly and invested in their lives. He spent time with people of all walks of life. Ben did the same. Whether it was intellectual conversation or a lighthearted joke, Ben invested in the person he was facing. He taught me that we are to love others even if they are different from us, and he taught me this by example. I never heard a judgmental word come from his mouth, and it was because he was humble enough to know that life is a level playing field for all of us. He also taught me that it was okay to be different and to have different opinions. In fact, he was always up for a good debate. I loved presenting my ideas to him only to have him offer his right back, because I knew he still loved and respected me and truly wanted to know where I stood individually on things. He was a conversationalist, and an enjoyable one at that.<br /><br />Ben also taught me that it is my choice to have a good day or a bad day. He said a day in itself can't be good or bad, or neither can a situation. Instead, Ben said, it is our reaction to it that makes it good or bad. That was the psychologist in him I'm sure, but what wonderful words of wisdom. It became such a vital part of my life to consciously choose to have a good day each day, even despite the day itself. Sometimes I fail horribly at it, but it will always be embedded in my mind that I have that choice.<br /><br />Ben was an example of living each moment of life. He hiked and canoed, and enjoyed the wonder of God's nature. He would take off with a group of people with just the backpack on his back and hike for days. I would venture to say that he could squeeze more life out of a day than anyone else I know. He shared, he cared, he listened, he counseled, and in the last days, he gave of himself to take care of the daily needs of his loving wife.<br /><br />Hearing that Ben was gone drew the breath out of me. I immediately had a feeling of emptiness envelop me. Then I thought of his kiss on my cheek and his great big bear hug, and I had the picture of facing him with my groom on our wedding day. The amazing thing is that every time an image of him enters my mind, it's his gentle eyes and kind smile that stand out most. I'm not sure what it's going to be like not having Ben around, but his strong presence will never leave us. The wisdom he infused in my life will never be removed. There isn't another one like Ben Davis, and I only wish we had one more chance to tell him.<br /><br /><br /></span><img src="file:///C:/Users/JOLEE0%7E1/AppData/Local/Temp/moz-screenshot.png" alt="" />Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06827083955337636228noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6885572768458012191.post-29938045669469429342011-04-14T06:44:00.001-07:002011-04-14T07:37:59.498-07:00When I finally get to go somewhere...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtMPVqQEkXuXwMxiUTxCLN80hTJ00DAApGYt8rkA8EahLfWf_GNM1wrTRylDXebJtK1vKo_Kj11w6a2GU4H2hi6P7gzM1JMvwGjEL9e6oCCKb6XTaKTAhQXjPJXvdUlED0KxW9dJsjsg/s1600/Spring-NYC.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 226px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtMPVqQEkXuXwMxiUTxCLN80hTJ00DAApGYt8rkA8EahLfWf_GNM1wrTRylDXebJtK1vKo_Kj11w6a2GU4H2hi6P7gzM1JMvwGjEL9e6oCCKb6XTaKTAhQXjPJXvdUlED0KxW9dJsjsg/s320/Spring-NYC.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5595435995785268034" border="0" /></a><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">I was going to start this entry with a waiver (<span style="font-style: italic;">Not meant to be disrespectful, blah, blah, blah...), </span>but then I decided that the people reading it would totally get it anyway...<br /><br />Once again, I get to hear about a trip. It's California again. Third time. "It's such a pain flying that far, wah,wah, wah..." Please. Give me a break. Anybody out there want to hop a plane to California with me? Can I see a show of hands?<br /><br />When I was giantly pregnant with the twins, bedridden, I got to experience my first second hand trip to California. It was Hollywood the first time. L.A. I would be lying in bed, struggling to go to sleep, and I would get the call... "HEY, HONEY!! I'M AT THE DODGER GAME!! CAN YOU HEAR THAT CROWD? OH MY GOSH, YOU WOULD LOVE THIS!!" Or, I can't even walk around my living room, and I get the call... "HEY, HONEY!! GUESS WHERE I'M STANDING? I AM ON THE HOLLYWOOD WALK OF FAME IN FRONT OF MANN'S CHINESE THEATRE! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? I WISH YOU COULD SEE IT!!" Or, I'm eating green beans for the fourth night in a row, and I get the call... "YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE THIS FILET MIGNON AND SCALLOPS! I GOT THOSE JUST FOR YOU BECAUSE I KNOW THEY ARE YOUR FAVORITE! AND SUSHI! I ATE SUSHI BECAUSE I KNOW YOU WOULD WANT ME TO TRY IT!"<br /><br />Okay, you get the picture. I have had second hand trips to L.A., San Francisco, Santa Anna (right now), Boston, Baltimore, Atlanta, Knoxville, somewhere in Kentucky ("HONEY, THE GRASS REALLY LOOKS BLUE!!"), and others that just won't come to me at this time. Next week, another one takes the cake.<br /><br />Here's the call.... "HEY, HONEY! (<span style="font-style: italic;">YEP, STILL HONEY AFTER 20 YEARS) </span>MAN, SANTA ANNA IS SO BEAUTIFUL. YOU WOULD LOVE THE PALM TREES AND THE TROPICAL FEEL. IT'S VERY 'HIGH END', FANCY. ANYWAY, I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT I GOT MY SCHEDULE FOR SAVANNAH. WE ARE STAYING AT THE HILTON ON THE RIVERWALK! DO YOU THINK THAT WILL BE NICE? I BET IT WILL BE NICE. YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHERE WE ARE EATING TUESDAY NIGHT! OUR LADY AND SONS! THAT'S PAULA DEEN'S PLACE! WEDNESDAY NIGHT, WE'RE GOING TO BUBBA'S SOMETHING OR ANOTHER, BUT TUESDAY! WOW!" <span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;">(COMPLETELY UNAWARE THAT BUBBA'S IS PAULA'S BROTHER'S RESTAURANT...)<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"></span></span></span>I'm pretty sure I gagged. In fact, I may have thrown up in my mouth a little. I just couldn't wrap my brain around it. Okay, at this point I feel I have to waiver... I'm thrilled he gets to see it all... but dangit! One of these days!!<br /><br />I want to see New York. To walk among the hustle and bustle just once, with an evening on Broadway, and seeing the Statue of Liberty would probably make me cry. I want to go to Chicago to see a Bulls game. I don't know why, because I don't care that much about the NBA any more, but I always wanted to see a Bulls game in Chicago. I would love to go to Los Angeles for many reasons. I have a cousin there, and I would like to see his band play in their "home" base, rocking my old self just once with Djinn. I have also wanted to be on the Price as Right as long as I can remember. Yep, I do realize that is lame. San Francisco would be so amazing, as I would finally get to ride on the streetcar along the hills, dining in ChinaTown. The fish markets of Seattle... the majesty of Niagara Falls... the beaches of the Florida panhandle... lobster in Maine... a bed and breakfast in Connecticut... And those are just a few in only these United States. <br /><br />My foreign dreams include Tokyo and Beijing, Italy and Greece, Paris and London. Will I ever get there? I don't know, I really don't. I don't expect to, because deep down it feels selfish when I think of making it a reality. You see, any time my husband has called me from one of my dream places, someone else is paying for it. I don't see the state of South Carolina springing for that on my behalf, so I guess I'm on my own. Which, by the way, is why I'll dream big and start small. I hope to spend a day in Charlotte this summer.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></span>Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06827083955337636228noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6885572768458012191.post-20342484907015886372011-04-13T19:35:00.000-07:002011-04-13T20:09:22.223-07:00A season of new beginnings...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjj_puPrbkZqRBvEkHlvMfWww5ncU5PVxsk6e6ClecXAJ5efrxLKCnE-zChCkxzwqCuBCqcHalONGYgBSlvTA4Tjov-dz7DhnnGE2H_sSihXrF7Am4snqXv2x-S-LiFuBqHNS_zQ1hx-Q/s1600/spring4.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjj_puPrbkZqRBvEkHlvMfWww5ncU5PVxsk6e6ClecXAJ5efrxLKCnE-zChCkxzwqCuBCqcHalONGYgBSlvTA4Tjov-dz7DhnnGE2H_sSihXrF7Am4snqXv2x-S-LiFuBqHNS_zQ1hx-Q/s320/spring4.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5595263736525201122" border="0" /></a><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">It's a lovely time of year with the flowers blooming and the trees getting greener, and the symbolism of new beginnings catches my attention as I have changes in my own life. It has been amazing to see God work and bless me out of the blue, but that is usually how He works in my life.<br /><br />Recovering from back surgery was kind of rough for a couple of weeks, and not only with the pain. Something happens to your mind when you are down and out physically, especially when you are used to being active. As I found myself homebound for a time, I began to grow uncomfortable with the thought of getting out and being active again. I'm working through it, and I'm thankful that God reminds me that fear is NOT from Him and NOT in my vocabulary.<br /><br />I also ended up on temporary disability from my job while out with my back problems, and that was just a strange feeling. First of all, leaving a job that I had only been a part of for a few months was an uncomfortable position to be in. Second, the term "disability" messes with your mind. At 41, almost 42, years old, I just don't like to think of myself as disabled in any way, even if it's temporary.<br /><br />So, the toll the surgery took on me was mental more than physical I believe, but fortunately I am spiritually sound. God is so good to me, and as I said, He blesses me right out of the blue and makes me laugh.<br /><br />As I was recovering from my back problems, I received a call from someone that I highly respect, my former employer. She asked me if I would like to return to work there. Holy cow. A chance to go back home. I had left my job last October to work in a job that would challenge me, provide insurance for my family, and pay more to help support my family. It was difficult at times, but I'm up for a challenge and won't back down. God knew I was pooped and missing time with my kids, and He just decided to show off in an amazing way. It was difficult to think of letting down the people I would be leaving, but it was peaceful knowing that God had provided this opportunity for me to return to a place that I love. Circumstances were strange, but the reality is that I suddenly found myself making yet another change. I would love for those that I'm leaving behind to know that I appreciate their graciousness, welcoming me into their family, and that this move has everything to do with what is best for my family once again.<br /><br />My hubby has a new job too which requires him to travel for training right now. It's so cool to know how I worried about what I would do about the girls while I worked nights and how God already had it handled. He just went above and beyond what I could expect. Ken is doing well in training this week, scoring amazingly well on the tests he is taking each day. He's excited to be entering into a new area of business, and we know that it is another blessing from God.<br /><br />If I think real hard, I may just be able to mention a few more new beginnings, but I think I will let this be it for now. I have to dedicate more thought and time to writing more often, because the therapeutic value is immeasurable. For now, I am focusing on rehabilitation, strengthening, and stepping back into life, and I'm praising God that I'm going back home.<br /><span style="font-style: italic;"><br />P.S. I want to humbly give a shout out to my peeps, as they have helped me beyond anything anyone deserves. I pray that God blesses each of you 100 fold, because you guys are the greatest.<br /></span><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);"><br /></span>Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06827083955337636228noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6885572768458012191.post-31835695828568984292011-03-18T16:11:00.000-07:002011-03-18T16:38:14.458-07:00Here goes nothin',<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7878L6LrZ3hhSlZM0zQ66I_uxK7nii2o5qW68J_rIa8yIvId1j8J8JwpLFhZ5uM2wsUOgQN9A15CFkVBugpFo0GKEOJgQIE5HtEt7YokqqPNBCgnuLvaXWYRTYU8al96-tJKf7SgQUw/s1600/008-book-cartoon.gif"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 248px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7878L6LrZ3hhSlZM0zQ66I_uxK7nii2o5qW68J_rIa8yIvId1j8J8JwpLFhZ5uM2wsUOgQN9A15CFkVBugpFo0GKEOJgQIE5HtEt7YokqqPNBCgnuLvaXWYRTYU8al96-tJKf7SgQUw/s320/008-book-cartoon.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5585563615986330322" border="0" /></a><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">After 10 years of being basically healthy, I'm going under the knife. It's weird when I really think about it, so I'm trying not to!<br /><br />I have ruptured a disk. I have no idea how it happened or when, but it happened. A fragment of the disk is now resting on the L5/S1 nerve root. I don't really know what that means except that I'm in constant pain, but it sounds professional of me, doesn't it? The doc says that although it's pretty bad, it could mend itself but would take possibly 6 months or more. I told him I didn't think I had 6 months to invest. I have four kids, a husband, a household, and a full time job. Does that sound like someone that has time to hurt for 6 months or more?<br /><br />Everyone has advice, bless them, good and not so good. I finally told Ken that I wanted to just have my surgery alone and get over it without anyone interfering. For those of you who offered kind words, thank you. For those of you that said something horrible, I forgive you. For future reference, don't tell someone who is having back surgery under general anesthesia that your aunt had that same surgery and went into a coma, only waking up weeks later to realize she could no longer walk. I'm sure you just meant to be a blessing.<br /><br />I have realized through the pain that I am tremendously blessed with some good friends. I've had offers of meals, transportation for the kids, and most importantly, prayers. God is so good. My family is wonderful, and I must brag on my husband and kids. Although he acts like it's killing him sometimes, my hubby has picked up so many loose ends and has been so very helpful. My girls? Gosh... I just can't say enough. They have done chore after chore, being asked and not being asked, and when I ask they don't balk one bit. Who raised these kids anyway? It's a time when I'm thankful to have 4 independent, well-adjusted daughters. Did I mention that God is so good?<br /><br />So, now I head into the great unknown. I have a week to prepare. I think I will lie here. Well, that, and I'll boss the fam around to let them know what needs to be done before I go. They don't have much to worry with though, and the surgery will only be outpatient. If you have some encouraging words, thanks. If you have an unfortunate aunt, please keep that to yourself.<br /></span>Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06827083955337636228noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6885572768458012191.post-30229903963487928522011-03-10T17:24:00.001-08:002011-03-10T17:52:29.966-08:00Ouch..<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhX3d4EtseqqBmJxU1xGq8us67VtSjun9Qesw6Hg2gSU02-EkMfTSd5q8k28pSXYzOcL-mBQQALn-w2kMMrsooGFvprZ0Fu_xZLgdEOdjGNbNTVhfY0cXHKXPFYo7JLVHKsKTx8H-XL4A/s1600/back_pain_cartoon.png"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 257px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 320px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5582627286467156258" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhX3d4EtseqqBmJxU1xGq8us67VtSjun9Qesw6Hg2gSU02-EkMfTSd5q8k28pSXYzOcL-mBQQALn-w2kMMrsooGFvprZ0Fu_xZLgdEOdjGNbNTVhfY0cXHKXPFYo7JLVHKsKTx8H-XL4A/s320/back_pain_cartoon.png" /></a><br /><div><span style="color:#3366ff;">This has been the strangest week! It all started as a simple ache in my left hip, just a little over a week ago. By Sunday, I was pushing myself to go to church, but decided I couldn't teach my Junior High girls' class through tears. On my way to church, I called Ken to let him know I was dropping off the girls and returning home.</span></div><div><span style="color:#3366ff;"></span> </div><div><span style="color:#3366ff;">I was in a lot of discomfort by the time I got home. I just couldn't get comfortable at all. I knew that a visit to Dr. Hess was in store for Monday. It was the first doctor visit for me since 2009, so that tells you how rare it is for me to have to handle illness. This pain was reminiscent of my worst psoriatic arthritis flares, and actually even worse.</span></div><div><span style="color:#3366ff;"></span> </div><div><span style="color:#3366ff;">Dr. Hess immediately felt that I had a rotated pelvis and did a little therapy on me while suggesting some exercises. He gave me Lortab to help ease the pain until it subsided, and I went on my merry way.</span></div><div><span style="color:#3366ff;"></span> </div><div><span style="color:#3366ff;">Long story longer, I found myself Tuesday evening with intense pain down my leg with parts of my lower leg numb, and eventually no feeling at all in my foot. Walking was horrible, sitting was nearly impossible, and lying down was tolerable but still painful. It looked like another visit was in store for me.</span></div><div><span style="color:#3366ff;"></span> </div><div><span style="color:#3366ff;">Well, Wednesday Dr. Hess decided that it was time for an MRI. His main concern was the loss of strength in my leg and lack of feeling in my foot. He mentioned a bulging disk, threw out the words "spinal consult" and "surgery". I was relieved when he threw out the word "prednisone" because I knew that would bring some help for the swelling, hopefully easing the pain.</span></div><div><span style="color:#3366ff;"></span> </div><div><span style="color:#3366ff;">I'm hanging in there. Walking is the worst part. My leg gives out occassionally, and that's freaking me out a little. I'm not walking much though. Walking in pain is just too humbling and exhausting to do in public right now. I'm hoping for a simple explanation, pain relief, and the feeling back in my leg and foot. I look forward to getting back to life as usual next week, or so I hope. I trust that the Lord has it all under control, and there was a reason He wanted me to be still and listen to Him this week. I've tried my very best to take it all in, just so I don't miss anything that He may want me to catch. </span></div><div><span style="color:#3366ff;"></span> </div><div><span style="color:#3366ff;">Through all the pain, it's been restful and reflective. It's been really cool to have friends praying for me. I've had to let go of letting everyone down this week and having others pick up the slack, and I've had to just deal with things as best I can. My family is cool and tolerant, my friends are kind and encouraging, and my God is still in control. Now if I can just be still in that MRI machine....</span></div>Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06827083955337636228noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6885572768458012191.post-8656381900238738662011-02-22T05:57:00.000-08:002011-02-22T06:26:27.298-08:00Help!!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimWZgYQkxIsERcOfVCkN4CPwE57kgsNjoZi4Rbtp23DDOWYH1pE8bosHTn8KUl-fSiUB58WFiLwI-n4WYqGeD5v_tyGclSa_qri0l6mS7Lm8c6aT4JGF4f1mwA0Or1Xx4KKZ57Ms6gYQ/s1600/cartoon-burglar-thumb8548778.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 258px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimWZgYQkxIsERcOfVCkN4CPwE57kgsNjoZi4Rbtp23DDOWYH1pE8bosHTn8KUl-fSiUB58WFiLwI-n4WYqGeD5v_tyGclSa_qri0l6mS7Lm8c6aT4JGF4f1mwA0Or1Xx4KKZ57Ms6gYQ/s320/cartoon-burglar-thumb8548778.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5576514489247028130" border="0" /></a><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">I've been robbed! It crept in like a thief in the night, and it robbed me. Right under my nose, it was gone in a flash. Something stole my joy.<br /><br />I didn't even realize what had happened until my pastor pointed it out to me, along with the rest of the congregation, Sunday. It explained everything -- the exhaustion, the stress, the difficulty, the pain... It had been snatched right out from under my nose!<br /><br />I am a joyful person. Anyone that has been around me for any amount of time sees that joy just naturally flows out of me. However, anyone who has been around me lately that really knows me, and you know who you are, could tell very quickly that I was straining to muster that joy up to the surface. When it isn't flowing out naturally, it takes a lot of work and takes a lot out of me.<br /><br />I have been drained. I have been flat worn out. I have felt trapped by circumstances that really aren't that bad, but that have managed to take control of my life, sapping me of everything I have. It's almost like my hope had floundered, when in reality I lost my focus.<br /><br />You see, our circumstances don't control our joy. I know this, but I needed to be reminded of it. Our happiness is many times dependent on our circumstances, although I am also a big believer in being in control of our happiness no matter what. Joy, on the other hand, comes from the Lord. It is a natural out-flowing of what He is doing in our lives. When we lose the focus of the bigger picture of what God has for us, we can let that joy slip deeper within us, almost as if it gets covered up by the other gunk in our lives. (And I, like most of you, have plenty of gunk.) <br /><br />I have rarely allowed the gunk to take over. I am not a person who allows very much to take over the joy in my life. This has happened another time in my life when I was overwhelmed with moving to South Carolina, my health was bad, and I was trying to keep up with 4 small children without any help. This time, it has been more vague. It has been a slow culmination of things that have finally weighed me down. The proverbial straw that broke the camel's back is my most recent exhaustion. Fortunately, God knew I needed a word, an out loud word, and I heard it loud and clear Sunday.<br /><br />My hope has been renewed. My priorities have been re-shuffled. I am taking control back from the gunk, and I'm handing it back over to the Lord. I reset the security system of my life, and I'm not letting that robber steal my joy again.<br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"><br /></span>Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06827083955337636228noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6885572768458012191.post-24565348184522606372011-02-01T07:43:00.000-08:002011-02-01T08:32:58.831-08:00There comes a time...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJg-0TelBLGhpCIz0x0MmTBrblzRBS5lqHtfvTyjSbsIrY9hNaNZboYWycIqqzKdsuWtItD_VPAR94fAlCANq_emrUxpstn9gVyIwESeDCvson0v6GHp2Hp693dtwQXVOJ8Iv7iN0yhw/s1600/OddReflection1.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJg-0TelBLGhpCIz0x0MmTBrblzRBS5lqHtfvTyjSbsIrY9hNaNZboYWycIqqzKdsuWtItD_VPAR94fAlCANq_emrUxpstn9gVyIwESeDCvson0v6GHp2Hp693dtwQXVOJ8Iv7iN0yhw/s320/OddReflection1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5568748234533288642" border="0" /></a><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">There is a time in everyone's life when something, or things, causes them to step back and reflect on where they have been and where they are going. At the risk of repeating myself, I am right there once again.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">Several things have started coming together lately, or I at least feel like they are beginning to. Ken's job is good, he seems to be appreciated there, bills are being paid, and there is a sliver of hope that things are going to improve financially. (I may even get a car with air conditioning and heat within the next few weeks!) I have a new job, which I really enjoy other than the night shift thing, and I'm beginning to feel older (and comfortable with it) and somehow ready to move into another phase of my life, whatever that is.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">With all of this, I have realized that I'm letting some things get by me, and I'm not really doing what I want to do with my life. My dream, for those that don't know me very well, is to write. The challenge has always been knowing how to take the first step. I was blessed enough to be a newspaper writer for a time a while back, and it was a real kick to see my name in print. It was more of a kick knowing that I was earning money, however little it was, doing something that I loved so much. Now, mind you, I love my job as a medical secretary, but writing is my passion. How many people get paid for doing what they are passionate about? Not very many. Why? Is it because they haven't tried? Is it because they let life keep them caught up in the cat and mouse game of making ends meet? Is it simply reserved for those who are passionate enough to actually make it happen?</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">Moreover, am I one of those that is passionate enough to make it happen? So far in my life, I've done very little to make anything happen, things just happen TO me or FOR me. (Which I'm grateful for.) What if I suddenly took life by the horns and MADE things happen? Now, if I just knew where to begin....</span>Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06827083955337636228noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6885572768458012191.post-62773016634098974372011-01-04T04:30:00.000-08:002011-01-04T04:51:21.065-08:00A most wonderful quality...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwzPT_5-REpt8XpGay3Jtpk3K1GJdgT1aNvrsq8m6kNy3MDL9-7w13epUofGUq1iBPmthmEq74ne6HFSxRAfXZs268dcAeCCrZxV0DvU5Oolg7pyLeEMiHE0V7rB-4KxabxnQAbCVrkA/s1600/joy_of_lord.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 301px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwzPT_5-REpt8XpGay3Jtpk3K1GJdgT1aNvrsq8m6kNy3MDL9-7w13epUofGUq1iBPmthmEq74ne6HFSxRAfXZs268dcAeCCrZxV0DvU5Oolg7pyLeEMiHE0V7rB-4KxabxnQAbCVrkA/s320/joy_of_lord.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5558307760927760418" border="0" /></a><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">My kids are joyful. They really inspire me. I would venture to bet that not many parents could say this. It's interesting to see how they are joyful in different ways and for different reasons. Some of this is due to age, and some is due to just general life situation.<br /><br />The youngest girls just may not know any better, but they seem to find joy in most situations. In fact, when they are most getting on my nerves, I remind myself that it is their sheer joy that is causing me discomfort. I do sometimes have to reel them in a bit, but to have that uninhibited joy and energy around is infectious. Nothing in particular has to happen to bring out this joy, because it just burst out of them in every day situations.<br /><br />My "middle" child has a more quiet joy. It's like something that is lurking under the surface, just waiting to explode at any moment. She has great self control, much more than I do, even when it comes to her joy. However, it's there, and it's obvious, and it has a great affect on those around her. Her joy is most evident when she is just being plain silly, and she can be silly with the best of us. I also see that joy ooze out of her when she is working with young children. She glows when she has the opportunity to inspire a young life, and this in turn inspires those around her.<br /><br />My oldest daughter has a joy that leaves her able to deal with things maturely. It puts things in perspective for her. It comes along with a faith that God is in control in all things. She has less self control than her younger sister, and she is more likely to lay things on the line. Different things bring her joy as well. For one, her music brings out the joy in her life. Anyone who has watched her and heard her sing will tell you this. Also, seeing God place the puzzle pieces of her life together makes her burst with joy. Being content in choices she makes because of her confidence in God's plan for her just lays that joy right out there.<br /><br />Ironically, my kids bring out the joy in my life. There are other things that do it too, but the girls are a big part of it. I don't do a very good job of letting them know that many times, because life is so darn crazy, stressful, and fast. I hope to do a better job at this in 2011. When someone has such a profound affect on your life, you really should let them know about it. <br /></span>Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06827083955337636228noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6885572768458012191.post-39484264538995540582011-01-03T07:27:00.001-08:002011-01-03T07:44:53.708-08:00Okay, I give,<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg37wAQTWPEnKm-P989a4_akUWBrpPzjAmigGuwGzpeKrkb5ZPq7GJQZuys2XtJ6Rgz8SXFkS9GNl55enoC65XSFVHwapzgCPkMTLB45vraMnTzHl3E2xdtUF0SnDXTdHR0bKHiG1kJpA/s1600/live_life_by_goergen.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 225px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg37wAQTWPEnKm-P989a4_akUWBrpPzjAmigGuwGzpeKrkb5ZPq7GJQZuys2XtJ6Rgz8SXFkS9GNl55enoC65XSFVHwapzgCPkMTLB45vraMnTzHl3E2xdtUF0SnDXTdHR0bKHiG1kJpA/s320/live_life_by_goergen.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5557982401448699618" border="0" /></a><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">I've never been one to make New Year's resolutions. In fact, I've always thought it was dumb. You're just setting yourself up for disappointment most times, as you strive to accomplish something you failed to do the previous year. This year, however, I'm giving in.<br /><br />My resolution this year is to live. I don't mean to survive day to day, or to not die in 2011, but I'm going to LIVE. So much of my life has been spent in routine, guilting myself out of what I would really like to do, and this year I'm not letting that get me.<br /><br />I want to travel. No, I can't afford it, but I'm going somewhere this year. There are a lot of places I've always wanted to see, and I intend to mark one of those off my list this year. Even if it's only for a weekend, I'm going for it.<br /><br />I'm going to work so hard that I don't feel guilty for getting something for myself every once in a while. I avoid buying myself underwear because I think that the money could be spent on something more pressing. (But what could be more pressing than replacing 5-10 year old underwear?) I may even have a pedicure or two. Yes, I could do it myself, but darnit I don't think it will kill me to have someone else treat me a time or two.<br /><br />Maybe I'm feeling selfish, or maybe I'm just at a point in my life that I'm realizing it's passing me by. I tend to not grab days by the horns and make them into what I want them to be. Too many times I fall victim to what the day brings. Not this year. I'm tired of living by some weird made up standard that's in my head. Heck, this may just be the year I finally get my tattoo.<br /><br />Jesus didn't sit around trying to follow rules. He grew His hair long, wore comfy clothes, and hung out with his friends. He enjoyed a good party. (I'm so messed up, because this makes me think of a line in a movie about Jesus in a tuxedo shirt saying "I'm here to party".) He loved others and spent time investing in them. I'm not being disrespectful, I'm just saying that Jesus didn't let anyone tell Him how He was supposed to live. He was just connected enough to His Father to be confident in what is right and wrong.<br /><br />As long as I stay connected to my Father, and that is one thing I plan to work harder at this year, I don't think it's a bad thing for me to just live life. A friend of mine said that she knows a lady that works in a nursing home, and the lady was telling her that the patients she talks to that lived life to the fullest never had regrets. It's the ones that never did things they wanted to do that were saddened by the thought of never having the chance again. This had a profound affect on me. What a joy it would be to look back at my life and say that I didn't leave anything undone. I don't know if that is even possible, but I'm going to start giving it a good fighting try this year.<br /></span>Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06827083955337636228noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6885572768458012191.post-58686418305544831952010-12-28T18:12:00.001-08:002010-12-28T18:42:14.485-08:00Here we are, once again...<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcZJ2R_P1z1dVUlHilsccTaPrURSs0EoTGr5Ltvs9BkDz8nruHE0-GNjFXFdOL32zfIPzE7yrx0d0ll6uL7FJDzkV-gmVSaScB-W_FuaXcz2FuWAZAKNKoeT8gJ4TNjho6iwSCAm1tCA/s1600/New_Year%2527s_Resolutions.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 300px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 300px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5555928788285885010" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcZJ2R_P1z1dVUlHilsccTaPrURSs0EoTGr5Ltvs9BkDz8nruHE0-GNjFXFdOL32zfIPzE7yrx0d0ll6uL7FJDzkV-gmVSaScB-W_FuaXcz2FuWAZAKNKoeT8gJ4TNjho6iwSCAm1tCA/s320/New_Year%2527s_Resolutions.jpg" /></a><br /><div><span style="color:#00cccc;">Christmas has come and gone, and another year is about to come to a close. It's weird how as we get older, the years tick by as mere blips on the radar. The end of the year causes me to be reflective, but it also makes me hopeful for another year to come.</span><br /><span style="color:#00cccc;"></span><br /><span style="color:#00cccc;">In years past, I had the bright idea that we should have a theme going into January 1st. I believe 2003 was the first one, at least that I can remember. "Become Debt Free in 2003"! Oh please. Don't make me cuss. "Expecting More in 2004" was our next bright idea. How'd that work out for us? NOT TOO GOOD.</span><br /><span style="color:#00cccc;"></span><br /><span style="color:#00cccc;">So, in 2005, we decided to shoot a little lower.... "Stay Alive in 2005". Praise God! It was one that we accomplished! I don't take it lightly either. It was a lesson learned. Aim low, and you leave less room for disappointment.</span><br /><span style="color:#00cccc;"></span><br /><span style="color:#00cccc;">So for 2011, I'm wondering what my theme should be? Some things that crossed my mind are.... "Better Than '07, It's 2011" (wouldn't take much).... "New Engines are Revvin' in 2011" (I need a CAR!)... "Let's Make It 7 in 2011".... (Wait for it... Wait for it... and THAT'S A BIG FAT NO.) </span><br /><span style="color:#00cccc;"></span><br /><span style="color:#00cccc;">I'm thinking an appropriate shot would be "Taking More to Heaven in 2011". I've been pondering a lot about lost people lately, and how I need to live a better witness. Maybe this theme can be my motivation to share with lost souls the hope that Jesus Christ brings to my life. I plan to return to West Virginia in the Summer of 2011 for a "mission trip", but in the mean time, I should be more aware of those around me. I've really fallen down on my job this year. In fact, confession time, I have spent less time in my Bible this year than in a very long time. (I hate for my Junior High girls' Sunday School class to hear that, but I'm going to do better!) Y</span><span style="color:#00cccc;">ep, I could say that I've just been busier, but that would not necessarily be true. Fact is, I've been slack. As a result I feel disconnected, almost like I'm wandering around looking for something that is lost. I mean, I can still obviously feel God working in my life, but I haven't done a very good job holding up my end of that relationship. I want to be a good example, and not one of an attempt at perfection. I want to be an example of simple humanity with a dedication and dependence on Christ. It's time that I step up to the plate.</span><br /><span style="color:#00cccc;"></span><br /><span style="color:#00cccc;">So maybe a more appropriate theme for the upcoming year would be "More Aware of Heaven in 2011". That covers more bases really. I hope it will harken back to the great year of 2005, when we all managed to stay alive.... Come to think of it, that would be another goal for the year that I would certainly like to accomplish.</span></div>Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06827083955337636228noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6885572768458012191.post-86508189721827842412010-12-20T12:50:00.000-08:002010-12-20T13:27:37.431-08:00Better late than never...<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUUjyOvuT3OFS84e4MdUSslEXcSSOgkA2fjLWU6Hf7EpoHNwMQBJo4_zVSMbjUAriMPC5BsBkNMZRQZng1GO873JVjF0ahviPBJ6lti5qOln61mL7-UpdnPgBwEZfUJQ95oTGmPXrESw/s1600/040.JPG"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 240px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5552871251499461426" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUUjyOvuT3OFS84e4MdUSslEXcSSOgkA2fjLWU6Hf7EpoHNwMQBJo4_zVSMbjUAriMPC5BsBkNMZRQZng1GO873JVjF0ahviPBJ6lti5qOln61mL7-UpdnPgBwEZfUJQ95oTGmPXrESw/s320/040.JPG" /></a><br /><div><span style="color:#3366ff;">It was a December morning, just a little over a week until Christmas, and I woke up to an unusual feeling. Ken had already left for work in Charlotte, and I realized my water had broken. I called him to return, and I decided it was a good idea to call Mom. Jordan needed to get to preschool, and it looked like Ken and I were heading to the hospital.</span></div><div><span style="color:#3366ff;"></span> </div><div><span style="color:#3366ff;">Turns out, just because your "water" had broken didn't mean a baby was coming that day. So, we settled into the hospital room. That afternoon I started a card game with my hubby, and as I sat in the rocking chair, I had an unusual pain in my back. Yep, it was labor time.</span></div><div><span style="color:#3366ff;"></span> </div><div><span style="color:#3366ff;">I labored into the night until my doctor decided that it was time to rest. I'm thankful for a doctor who followed my wishes to deliver a baby after having had a c-section. It wasn't easy, and it took a lot of patience on everyone's part, but on Friday morning, my baby girl was born.</span></div><div><span style="color:#3366ff;"></span> </div><div><span style="color:#3366ff;">She was born during Jordan's preschool Christmas program, so my parents weren't there. The most memorable thing to me is thinking that she looked like a chubby baby version of her daddy! Jordan ended up being sick and having to stay with the grandparents, so daddy and I started our bonding time with little Lauren Ashley.</span></div><div><span style="color:#3366ff;"></span> </div><div><span style="color:#3366ff;">(We snuggled in bed that night and watched "It's a Wonderful Life". What an appropriate end to an amazing day.)</span></div><div><span style="color:#3366ff;"></span> </div><div><span style="color:#3366ff;">I can't say enough about what a sweet baby Lauren was. She was joyful, happy, funny baby. She learned quickly and rarely had to be corrected. She is a sweet little sister. As she has grown, she has kept that sweet, level-headed personality. I used to worry about what was going on in the pretty little head of hers, but then I realized that my own need to blurt everything out was just a contrast to her more thoughtful, careful way of dealing with things.</span></div><div><span style="color:#3366ff;"></span> </div><div><span style="color:#3366ff;">She's a middle child essentially, younger to Jordan, older to her twin sisters. She's a mediator and a peace-maker. She's funny but quiet, although as she's gotten older she has learned that it's fine to tell you what she thinks. (She's quite honest!) She's stylish and beautiful, and she carries herself so well. She is dedicated to living for Christ, and I'm excited to see what He has in store for her.</span></div><div><span style="color:#3366ff;"></span> </div><div><span style="color:#3366ff;">She's a genuis, a golfer, a talented singer, she's a leader who can follow, and she has a heart for children. This past summer, I was able to watch her at work with the less fortunate kids of West Virginia that we ministered to, and it was a true blessing. She is still the personification of her preschool indian name, Bright Star, and she brightens our lives every day.</span></div><div><span style="color:#3366ff;"></span> </div><div><span style="color:#3366ff;">Thank you, Lord, for Lauren. She is such a blessing to us. </span></div>Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06827083955337636228noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6885572768458012191.post-10351197729263173862010-12-13T13:11:00.000-08:002010-12-13T13:50:39.007-08:00The most wonderful time of the year?<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkdTx7Ee51SFXIE58Q3w5kzz-1H7Mz4yEyNGA0jRCP7w7sFSvLTw2FMjK6ID2LGRTqE4uMdni5VIwiAOAFo_1uAaniivOUvUqAeHAh75WTUgi6wyDVx5yzXnH_pGp27mfw52HkSZiEmw/s1600/Merry%252520Christmas.gif"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 292px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5550278621695232818" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkdTx7Ee51SFXIE58Q3w5kzz-1H7Mz4yEyNGA0jRCP7w7sFSvLTw2FMjK6ID2LGRTqE4uMdni5VIwiAOAFo_1uAaniivOUvUqAeHAh75WTUgi6wyDVx5yzXnH_pGp27mfw52HkSZiEmw/s320/Merry%252520Christmas.gif" /></a> <span style="color:#990000;">The hustle and the bustle tends to stress me every year, as my husband reminds me when I mention that I'm stressed out. "You are always stressed out from Thanksgiving to Christmas", says Ken. Truly, I always just let my surroundings have an impact on me, making me feel the stress of the craziness swirling around me. People become ruder, seem to be more pushed for time, and are just totally missing the entire idea of what this season is supposed to mean.</span><br /><span style="color:#990000;"></span><br /><span style="color:#990000;">So why do I allow everyone around me to control how I feel about the season? Why do I struggle year in and year out from Thanksgiving to Christmas? I've been giving that some thought this year. I'm still losing myself in trying to make others happy. I wonder how I can avoid that? What is it about life that causes me to lose my focus this time of year?</span><br /><span style="color:#990000;"></span><br /><span style="color:#990000;">I hear other women talking about making gifts, spending time with friends, and intricately decorating their homes. Well, I'm not terrible crafty, and who has time, I only have a few friends and they're pretty busy, and again who has time, and I can't afford to decorate my home intricately. Am I complaining? Well, not really. I just can't allow myself to get caught up in trying to do all of these things. I can't worry about everyone else's happiness. I have to just relax and enjoy my own little world, however different it may be from others'. </span><br /><span style="color:#990000;"></span><br /><span style="color:#990000;">In a news story I heard this morning, they were discussing how to deal with family during the holidays. The entire story was how each family has so many problems, and how those are exaggerated during the holiday season. It made me start thinking of things differently....</span><br /><span style="color:#990000;"></span><br /><span style="color:#990000;">I can honestly say that when I get together with my family, we have a blast. We don't argue, we don't bicker, we just have an amazingly great time! There is no tension, just loads of fun. Because I don't get to see my cousins very often, we just bask in the glow of our love for each other, as cheesy as that sounds, and enjoy each other's families. Anyone that would join us would be amazed at how close we are and how much love they feel among us. We are all hard-working, busy, God-fearing people that enjoy laughing and just having a great time but don't get to do it often enough.</span><br /><span style="color:#990000;"></span><br /><span style="color:#990000;">This brings me to my wrap-up. I don't have a lot of girlfriends to just get together with and do girly things. (And the ones I do have just don't have time to get together and do girly things!) I don't have a lot of money to do extravagant things for Christmas. I do have a family that loves me no matter what, children that are already planning to adopt a child in a third world country for their Christmas present, a husband that brings joy to most any day, but most of all a Savior who constantly reminds me of what Christmas really should mean. </span><br /><p><span style="color:#990000;">No hustle, no bustle... Just a baby in a manger. Just a Savior Who came to Earth in flesh and blood only to give His life for me and for you. So, even though I find myself wanting to skip Christmas every year, this year I will be still and remember the real reason for the season. Thank you, Lord.</span></p>Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06827083955337636228noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6885572768458012191.post-35145506570835460962010-11-29T12:58:00.001-08:002010-11-29T13:19:44.104-08:00It's getting a little nippy..., <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghyphenhyphenkpQfwYhn-Bgu_8VaXpBymVgAVjZqq0oyXp7GbLDlcn0i1tjIFSqEBOupjC8mxeWSGU7lSSyCz0WPgVVKBihhamDTowpiDw6ng9X6qGBqyBGzG8FDg_YMz4FprtU4B-Ho1Zwg8vlTA/s1600/Autumn-Leaves-Wallpapers.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 249px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5545079260924452354" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghyphenhyphenkpQfwYhn-Bgu_8VaXpBymVgAVjZqq0oyXp7GbLDlcn0i1tjIFSqEBOupjC8mxeWSGU7lSSyCz0WPgVVKBihhamDTowpiDw6ng9X6qGBqyBGzG8FDg_YMz4FprtU4B-Ho1Zwg8vlTA/s320/Autumn-Leaves-Wallpapers.jpg" /></a><br /><div><span style="color:#3366ff;">I mean, I know it's the end of November, but I am just amazed at how chilly it is today! Thanksgiving behind us, Christmas in front of us, and who really knows what is in between?</span></div><div><span style="color:#3366ff;"></span> </div><div><span style="color:#3366ff;">I have been very excited lately for some reason, but I'm keeping it deep inside. As a result, I've spent the past few weeks being very quiet. Several people have asked me if I'm okay, and I am, just a little introspective it seems.</span></div><div><span style="color:#3366ff;"></span> </div><div><span style="color:#3366ff;">I just feel like God is about to do something in my life. This happens every once in a while, and it's always an uneasy, exciting, tiring, thoughtful time. Anticipation can be exhausting. These are the times that I pray the most, just asking the Lord to bring me peace in all the thoughts churning in my head and my heart. </span></div><div><span style="color:#3366ff;"></span> </div><div><span style="color:#3366ff;">Those closest to me understand and have ridden along with me in this journey a few times. Good, bad, or indifferent, I'm not sure what's coming. Sometimes I wonder if it is just God's way of drawing me closer, and if it is I welcome it with open arms.</span></div><div><span style="color:#3366ff;"></span> </div><div><span style="color:#3366ff;">Job is going well, and it's been a fun new adventure. New people, new responsibilities, and new hours! Working nights is sure different for me, and it's not too bad. It's the nights that I'm not working and lying awake that are the toughest! I'm so thankful to have the new job though. It's a blessing in many ways. While I miss my school friends, I'm happy that God has given me a new opportunity.</span></div><div><span style="color:#3366ff;"></span> </div><div><span style="color:#3366ff;">Thanksgiving brought so many thoughts of what I'm thankful for. Instead of bringing me to think of all that I have, it took me to all that I need to be doing. My mind and heart are very ministry focused, but I can't figure out what direction the Lord wants me to go. For now, I lean in toward my family, my children, and I wait on what is next. If you catch me being quiet, it's because I'm listening for what the Lord may be telling me or where He may be leading. I'm being still on purpose, and I'm holding on for opportunities to experience His joy more fully and to share His love.</span></div><div><span style="color:#3366ff;"></span> </div><div><span style="color:#3366ff;">Give thanks with a grateful heart, and be still and know that He is God.</span></div>Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06827083955337636228noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6885572768458012191.post-70273865904906174892010-11-15T05:20:00.000-08:002010-11-15T05:53:06.085-08:00I'm a roadie at heart...<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxJMD1DW3IjjqvMuFfKUftbmCBYrlZ1lRuyDuaca6PrFpqra6FlPbNcJniv3i0EkiS-8_tfPfU_ubN4dX8qN_VpFq7NaIhHBdOjGhkMlEnddrow1PvYrLZwSVkVFUbKo3U3_S6DXkrtQ/s1600/meandtheband.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 240px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5539766503381921634" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxJMD1DW3IjjqvMuFfKUftbmCBYrlZ1lRuyDuaca6PrFpqra6FlPbNcJniv3i0EkiS-8_tfPfU_ubN4dX8qN_VpFq7NaIhHBdOjGhkMlEnddrow1PvYrLZwSVkVFUbKo3U3_S6DXkrtQ/s320/meandtheband.jpg" /></a> <span style="color:#3366ff;">Yes, I believe Tina and I are rocker chicks at heart. We decided that we would make pretty good roadies. Friday was just an incredible start to a wonderful weekend!</span><br /><br /><p><span style="color:#3366ff;">I am so blessed to be a part of a church that reaches out and touches the lives of the teenagers of our community. Just as big a blessing is the fact that we held a Christian concert at a public school with so much support. The local Fellowship of Christian Athletes was the catalyst really, and in the end we had at least 350 people in attendance! More importantly, lives were rocked for Christ. I know at least one young man was saved, because I saw him wracked with tears of release, a peace in his eyes that you just can't explain to someone who doesn't have it. I know that many other lives were changed, because it would be impossible for us to attend an event like this one and not be changed.</span></p><br /><p><span style="color:#3366ff;">Due to my fabulous new job, I was able to commit myself to the entire day Friday. We started at about 10 a.m. with the arrival of DecembeRadio. (Aren't they just the cutest things? A bunch of cool, handsome, Godly guys, standing with two old motherly women. haha... Sorry, Tina.) We were all overwhelmed I think at the hearts of these guys. It was just evident that God uses them as they minister through their music. When all was said and done, I can honestly say that they were one of the best bands (if not THE VERY BEST) I have EVER heard in concert. They were amazing.</span></p><br /><p><span style="color:#3366ff;">Also included in our day was a band called The Museum. Yet another adorable groups of guys using their talents to glorify the Lord. It's just fun to be around guys like this, especially for the younger kids that helped us, because they are evidence that you can serve the Lord and still be who you are... unique individuals.</span></p><br /><p><span style="color:#3366ff;">Later in the day, Billly Wayne, Jacob, Carmen, and Derek arrived to join us. When they come into town, it's like family has arrived. They are all so precious and loved. Their ministry and their hearts for the Lord are just so inspiring. Billy is so bold in how he deals with everyone, and there is never a question about where he stands on anything. People like him are my favorites. Jacob is just a joy, and he always makes everyone smile. Derek is just adorable, and his willingness to be a part of this ministry inspires me. There aren't many young guys out there that are as mature in their spiritual walk. You very quickly see that Carmen is the balance for them all, the steady that brings the calm in the midst of these three male tornados! (And I mean this in the very best of ways!) Unfortunately, I didn't take the time to really get to know the older couple that was with them, but I have to say that they were just the cutest little things!</span></p><br /><p><span style="color:#3366ff;">I am so thankful that my kids could be a part of it all. Cassie and Kylie were only there for a small time, but they at least got to experience a bit of the excitement we were all feeling through the afternoon's festivities. Jordan spent the whole day though, and I won't steal the thunder from her blog, but suffice is to say that she had one of the most amazing days she has ever had I believe. Lauren came in later, after school, but she still was able to be a close up part of what was going on, and she was even able to step onto the tour bus. What a night for us all.</span></p><br /><p><span style="color:#3366ff;">Our youth ministry just can't be beat. God has blessed so much, and I am so happy to be a small part of what He is doing. The leaders I work with are just Godly people that enjoy doing His work. We had more fun than anyone should ever be allowed to, in Jesus' name! Our youth leader Scott.... gee whiz.... what can I say.... I love him like a son, and he and his wife are just more of a blessing to more people than they every really could know. I am so proud of how they have remained faithful to what the Lord has for them, and I admire them for their perseverance. I know God is going to continue just blessing their socks off! (We at Buck Creek are honored to have them as a part of our ministry team!!!)</span></p><br /><p><span style="color:#3366ff;">Yes, I was tired, because I am kind of an old lady now, but I can't imagine having not been a part of Friday. It was one of the most fabulous days of ministry I have ever been a part of. My spirit longs for more opportunities like this. I pray that God will lead me to more chances to serve. I pray that He will lead my children as they seek to do His will. I pray for Decemberadio and The Museum that they will continue to glorify God. For Billly, Jacob, Carmen, and Derek, I pray that God will continue to bless their ministry beyond measure. For the Buck Creek youth ministry and Chesnee High School FCA, I know God will continue to use us as long as we exhalt His Holy Name!!</span></p>Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06827083955337636228noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6885572768458012191.post-53815737676567579982010-11-07T17:12:00.000-08:002010-11-07T17:24:24.169-08:00A new day is dawning...<span style="color:#3366ff;">It won't be long now until I take the plunge of working 3rd shift. I talked to one of my fellow co-workers this week and told him I am excited about going to 3rd. He said, "Oh, so you've worked nights before?" I told him no but that I thought it would be great! He laughed at me, as everyone else keeps doing, and I'm beginning to worry that they know something I don't!</span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;"></span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;">My logical idea is that I will work three nights a week as scheduled, 7 p.m. until 7 a.m. If, for some reason, one of the girls has to be home from school, I'm here for her. Even if I have to sleep, at least I'm here. </span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;"></span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;">The day nurses say that you get paid more at night but that the day shift works harder. I'm anxious to see what the night shift says about the day people. I bet they will have their opinions too. I've enjoyed working days and like the people there now. I've gotten used to everyone, and I've adjusted to the extreme craziness that goes along with it. I have seen days with the birth of 17 babies. Holy cow, did you ever guess there could be that many born in one day at one hospital? </span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;"></span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;">Nights will be calmer I'm sure. Nights will be long I bet. Sure, I will be tired at first. Hopefully I will adjust though, and for sure I will remind myself that I am making good money for just three nights a week, and my family now has health insurance. It's funny that the only thing I'm nervous about is getting used to an entirely different group of people. Different nurses at night will bring different dynamics and different stories. I'm sure it won't take me long though to just settle right in.</span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;"></span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;">Strangely enough, I will miss having the doctors hanging around. I mean, it's pretty doubtful that they will be hanging out with us at night. They seem to most times lighten the mood, although sometimes it gets crazy behind that desk with a bunch of them around, but shoot, I will miss the big lugs. I say that like they are a bunch of monstrous weirdos, but in reality they are a bunch of kids. I'm not that old, but those doctors are just cute and young and ambitious. It inspires me at times. I mean there are a few old ones like me, and you guys know who you are. I enjoy most of them though, and there is never a dull moment during the day at work.</span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;"></span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;">Nights will be long, they may be a little duller, and they will be quite different than the days I have worked. I pray that my mind will stay sharp, my body will stay strong, and my spirit will stay lifted as I venture into this unknown territory known as 3rd shift.</span>Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06827083955337636228noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6885572768458012191.post-29116385427765354582010-10-29T10:24:00.000-07:002010-10-29T10:39:15.984-07:00NOOOO!!!!!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsUHwxAzM8eErddKG41lobMWhgUos2Eif8ZkPSiMF514tU8YZV4eshbHHdlDUhakbBtAO_FNAZm7Ek01S9FCQaP_NG4o8ZgYaqQdlSszTmcgD1HBlPtCzPW8Xk-0vLE1OIlXZbrByFdg/s1600/doughnuts-sign_1372_1373626.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 269px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5533520710880496098" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsUHwxAzM8eErddKG41lobMWhgUos2Eif8ZkPSiMF514tU8YZV4eshbHHdlDUhakbBtAO_FNAZm7Ek01S9FCQaP_NG4o8ZgYaqQdlSszTmcgD1HBlPtCzPW8Xk-0vLE1OIlXZbrByFdg/s320/doughnuts-sign_1372_1373626.jpg" /></a> <span style="color:#3366ff;">Darn you, Krispy Kreme! Who can resist the HOT AND NOW sign?</span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;"></span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;">For anyone who isn't familiar with this, where in the world do you live? HOT AND NOW means the doughnuts are HOT, straight from the rack, and they are NOW ready to be eaten! I guess when I was younger, I wasn't familiar with this either, but I do remember making a midnight run to Charlotte with my newleywed husband to get a few doughnuts, just because we could. Now, I live much nearer to a Krispy Kreme, and I work even more near to it than I live. </span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;"></span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;">So today, I was minding my own business, driving along up the highway, when there it was, screaming at me from a distance --- HOT AND NOW ---... NOOOO!!!! My blood sugar isn't so good these days, and I'm trying to be a good little girl, but who can resist a HOT AND NOW???</span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;"></span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;">Apparently, not many people can resist them. I had a coupon in my purse, so I thought I should certainly not let it go to waste. I pulled in the parking lot to hit the drive through, and everyone and their brothers were there! How far away can one see that sign? Why does that sign induce a sense of euphoria in those that don't even care for sweets that much? It's almost like if the sign is on, you just can't pass it up. It's like seeing something on sale that you don't need right now, but that you may end up needing at some point in the future!</span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;"></span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;">I'm proud to say I used my coupon, and I ended up with 2 dozen doughnuts. Don't you laugh at me. I only ate one. Thank the good Lord above that I can't, by only a few hundred yards probably, see that darn sign from my work place. If I happened to catch a glimpse of that red light in the corner of my eye, I would end up even heavier than I already am with some serious diabetic tendencies.</span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;"></span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;">HOT AND NOW. The mere thought of it makes my mouth water. (And my blood sugar go up too by the way.) Don't you dare pass that sign if you see it on, but be sure to share with your friends. One of those suckers is enough to do ya' for a while.</span>Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06827083955337636228noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6885572768458012191.post-27623866489389376912010-10-28T06:55:00.000-07:002010-10-28T07:28:48.936-07:00Wow,<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-5iqywLW5Rvv9TL_jEnbVQjr2mswYa2RLeuWxZ64xnjqRLwRWvWB0QN954Os14NqETnMbBNZP_jjA-yqfvNUJuwMuE3U-QfsnCiA9MchwdopmvfoDof-JPtbkLpSwC9Wj_-FbLhSpxg/s1600/multitasking.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 297px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5533103759518774418" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-5iqywLW5Rvv9TL_jEnbVQjr2mswYa2RLeuWxZ64xnjqRLwRWvWB0QN954Os14NqETnMbBNZP_jjA-yqfvNUJuwMuE3U-QfsnCiA9MchwdopmvfoDof-JPtbkLpSwC9Wj_-FbLhSpxg/s320/multitasking.jpg" /></a><br /><div><span style="color:#3333ff;">Who has time to blog any more? Well, apparently, not me! This new job has been a piece of real work so far, but it's a really good piece of work!</span><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;"></span><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;">I'm adusting to much longer work days and much more strenuous work. I mean, I kind of sit in a chair a lot of the day, but there is so much activity going on around me, it is crazy! I told my nurse manager yesterday that I spend most of my time at home trying to block out the noise around me, so it's hard to get used to having to hear everything that's going on around me!</span><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;"></span><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;">My job consists of admitting patients via computer, entering orders in the computer, charging patients on the computer, transferring patients (yep, on the computer), answering the phone, faxing orders, opening the door for people (due to strict security policies which I'm very happy about), answering the phone again, and pretty much anything else someone needs done. Yep, it sounds like a lot, but that's because it is a lot! Who would have thought that there could be 17 babies born on one day at one hospital? Do these people not have hobbies? Holy cow! </span><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;"></span><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;">I've learned to call that "job security". As long as people are popping out babies, I'm working at that desk. It's crazy exciting and sometimes just plain crazy. The doctors are so funny, and it's entertaining to experience their different personalities. The nurses are amazing, and it's fun to see their different personalities too. Man, that's a hard working bunch of people. </span><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;"></span><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;">I have seen miracles happen each and every day. I mean, the birth of a child in itself is a miracle, but some are more miraculous than others. The rush of emotion I felt when I saw doctors running down the hall with a patient on a stretcher, knowing they were saving a life, was more than I ever could have imagined. These ladies and gentlemen are incredible. These guys are my heroes.</span><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;"></span><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;">So, the new job is going well. I still miss my school peeps and all that went with them. I have adjusted to my new world, and I'm sure it will soon be my new comfort zone. Soon, I will start working my night shift, so that will be something very new to me. I'm anxious to get on a regular schedule to see how things are going to roll. All in all, I work for a great company. The people I work with are crazy dedicated and hard-working. My job is challenging and important, and that gives me such a sense of accomplishment. The twelve hour days are tough, but the four day weekends are worth it....</span><br /><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;">Now, excuse me while I take a nap. I'm pooped.</span></div>Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06827083955337636228noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6885572768458012191.post-78410749971476074792010-10-19T05:42:00.000-07:002010-10-19T06:02:24.495-07:00Choose to live!<span style="color:#3366ff;">I have the day off!! Woo-hoo!!! Can you tell I'm excited about it? It's just a preview of what my schedule will be when I begin my normal work schedule with my new job. (I will only work three days a week!) For now, my hours are just plain crazy. So far, the job is crazy busy, overwhelming, and stressful, but I do love being a part of the healthcare field!</span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;"></span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;">I miss the comfort of my school job, and the familiar feeling of everything. It was my comfort zone for a long time. It takes me a little longer than the average person to get into a comfort zone, so this is going to be a process. I don't mind though, as I am so thankful for this opportunity to earn more to help my family and provide insurance benefits for us all!</span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;"></span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;">So far, I have learned a great deal in my new venture. One big reminder is seeing that people are hurting and struggling. Another is that some people think they have it tough in their jobs. Others truly do have it tough in their jobs. I really don't see how nurses do it day in and day out. The level of stress they endure and the activity they have to keep up with makes my head spin just to watch. </span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;"></span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;">Along with my new experiences the past several days is one that I never thought I would be able to handle. Interesting that I have always taken everything I do very seriously, but now I see the true seriousness of what I'm taking part in. If things aren't done right, lives are literallly affected and possibly lost. Some losses aren't in the control of any human, and I experienced one of those last week. I saw a tiny body of a pre-term child that never had a chance to take his first breath. If I had thought of this ahead of time, I probably would have thought that there was no way I could face it without being devastated. Instead, God used that moment to show me that each life is so precious. The perfectly formed little boy reminded me that lives are formed WAY before they enter our world. He also reminded me that life is fleeting, so fragile, and that there is some peace found in death. Such a strange experience, but one I used to reinforce my belief in choosing LIFE.</span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;"></span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;">I choose to live each day and not let life get me down. Yes, I'm pooped, but I choose to live. Today, I choose to rest, even though I'm going to be running around this morning for a little while, but I will enjoy my day off and relax my spirit. I will make an extra effort to treasure those around me, as life is not guaranteed to us another day. I hope that everyone who reads this will choose to live today and every day, and that we all will be bold in reminding others how important it is TO CHOOSE LIFE.</span>Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06827083955337636228noreply@blogger.com0