When I finally get to go somewhere...

I was going to start this entry with a waiver (Not meant to be disrespectful, blah, blah, blah...), but then I decided that the people reading it would totally get it anyway...

Once again, I get to hear about a trip. It's California again. Third time. "It's such a pain flying that far, wah,wah, wah..." Please. Give me a break. Anybody out there want to hop a plane to California with me? Can I see a show of hands?

When I was giantly pregnant with the twins, bedridden, I got to experience my first second hand trip to California. It was Hollywood the first time. L.A. I would be lying in bed, struggling to go to sleep, and I would get the call... "HEY, HONEY!! I'M AT THE DODGER GAME!! CAN YOU HEAR THAT CROWD? OH MY GOSH, YOU WOULD LOVE THIS!!" Or, I can't even walk around my living room, and I get the call... "HEY, HONEY!! GUESS WHERE I'M STANDING? I AM ON THE HOLLYWOOD WALK OF FAME IN FRONT OF MANN'S CHINESE THEATRE! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? I WISH YOU COULD SEE IT!!" Or, I'm eating green beans for the fourth night in a row, and I get the call... "YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE THIS FILET MIGNON AND SCALLOPS! I GOT THOSE JUST FOR YOU BECAUSE I KNOW THEY ARE YOUR FAVORITE! AND SUSHI! I ATE SUSHI BECAUSE I KNOW YOU WOULD WANT ME TO TRY IT!"

Okay, you get the picture. I have had second hand trips to L.A., San Francisco, Santa Anna (right now), Boston, Baltimore, Atlanta, Knoxville, somewhere in Kentucky ("HONEY, THE GRASS REALLY LOOKS BLUE!!"), and others that just won't come to me at this time. Next week, another one takes the cake.

Here's the call.... "HEY, HONEY! (YEP, STILL HONEY AFTER 20 YEARS) MAN, SANTA ANNA IS SO BEAUTIFUL. YOU WOULD LOVE THE PALM TREES AND THE TROPICAL FEEL. IT'S VERY 'HIGH END', FANCY. ANYWAY, I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT I GOT MY SCHEDULE FOR SAVANNAH. WE ARE STAYING AT THE HILTON ON THE RIVERWALK! DO YOU THINK THAT WILL BE NICE? I BET IT WILL BE NICE. YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHERE WE ARE EATING TUESDAY NIGHT! OUR LADY AND SONS! THAT'S PAULA DEEN'S PLACE! WEDNESDAY NIGHT, WE'RE GOING TO BUBBA'S SOMETHING OR ANOTHER, BUT TUESDAY! WOW!" (COMPLETELY UNAWARE THAT BUBBA'S IS PAULA'S BROTHER'S RESTAURANT...)

I'm pretty sure I gagged. In fact, I may have thrown up in my mouth a little. I just couldn't wrap my brain around it. Okay, at this point I feel I have to waiver... I'm thrilled he gets to see it all... but dangit! One of these days!!

I want to see New York. To walk among the hustle and bustle just once, with an evening on Broadway, and seeing the Statue of Liberty would probably make me cry. I want to go to Chicago to see a Bulls game. I don't know why, because I don't care that much about the NBA any more, but I always wanted to see a Bulls game in Chicago. I would love to go to Los Angeles for many reasons. I have a cousin there, and I would like to see his band play in their "home" base, rocking my old self just once with Djinn. I have also wanted to be on the Price as Right as long as I can remember. Yep, I do realize that is lame. San Francisco would be so amazing, as I would finally get to ride on the streetcar along the hills, dining in ChinaTown. The fish markets of Seattle... the majesty of Niagara Falls... the beaches of the Florida panhandle... lobster in Maine... a bed and breakfast in Connecticut... And those are just a few in only these United States.

My foreign dreams include Tokyo and Beijing, Italy and Greece, Paris and London. Will I ever get there? I don't know, I really don't. I don't expect to, because deep down it feels selfish when I think of making it a reality. You see, any time my husband has called me from one of my dream places, someone else is paying for it. I don't see the state of South Carolina springing for that on my behalf, so I guess I'm on my own. Which, by the way, is why I'll dream big and start small. I hope to spend a day in Charlotte this summer.

A season of new beginnings...

It's a lovely time of year with the flowers blooming and the trees getting greener, and the symbolism of new beginnings catches my attention as I have changes in my own life. It has been amazing to see God work and bless me out of the blue, but that is usually how He works in my life.

Recovering from back surgery was kind of rough for a couple of weeks, and not only with the pain. Something happens to your mind when you are down and out physically, especially when you are used to being active. As I found myself homebound for a time, I began to grow uncomfortable with the thought of getting out and being active again. I'm working through it, and I'm thankful that God reminds me that fear is NOT from Him and NOT in my vocabulary.

I also ended up on temporary disability from my job while out with my back problems, and that was just a strange feeling. First of all, leaving a job that I had only been a part of for a few months was an uncomfortable position to be in. Second, the term "disability" messes with your mind. At 41, almost 42, years old, I just don't like to think of myself as disabled in any way, even if it's temporary.

So, the toll the surgery took on me was mental more than physical I believe, but fortunately I am spiritually sound. God is so good to me, and as I said, He blesses me right out of the blue and makes me laugh.

As I was recovering from my back problems, I received a call from someone that I highly respect, my former employer. She asked me if I would like to return to work there. Holy cow. A chance to go back home. I had left my job last October to work in a job that would challenge me, provide insurance for my family, and pay more to help support my family. It was difficult at times, but I'm up for a challenge and won't back down. God knew I was pooped and missing time with my kids, and He just decided to show off in an amazing way. It was difficult to think of letting down the people I would be leaving, but it was peaceful knowing that God had provided this opportunity for me to return to a place that I love. Circumstances were strange, but the reality is that I suddenly found myself making yet another change. I would love for those that I'm leaving behind to know that I appreciate their graciousness, welcoming me into their family, and that this move has everything to do with what is best for my family once again.

My hubby has a new job too which requires him to travel for training right now. It's so cool to know how I worried about what I would do about the girls while I worked nights and how God already had it handled. He just went above and beyond what I could expect. Ken is doing well in training this week, scoring amazingly well on the tests he is taking each day. He's excited to be entering into a new area of business, and we know that it is another blessing from God.

If I think real hard, I may just be able to mention a few more new beginnings, but I think I will let this be it for now. I have to dedicate more thought and time to writing more often, because the therapeutic value is immeasurable. For now, I am focusing on rehabilitation, strengthening, and stepping back into life, and I'm praising God that I'm going back home.

P.S. I want to humbly give a shout out to my peeps, as they have helped me beyond anything anyone deserves. I pray that God blesses each of you 100 fold, because you guys are the greatest.