Where did it go?

"Time marches on." I'm not sure where that quote comes from, but I tend to lean more toward, "Time flies." When we're growing up, we hear that we are growing up so fast. When we have young children, we hear that we should enjoy every moment because it passes in an instant. Guess what? All true.

Tomorrow I will be 41 years old. Uggh... Just to say it just doesn't feel right. Next month, my oldest daughter will graduate from high school. Uggh again... Unbelievable. My "middle" daughter will start high school in just a few months. Are you kidding me? Where did time go?

Several months ago, we visited a college campus as we were considering where my oldest would pursue her education after graduation. I sat in that auditorium and felt like I was in another world. Did I not just do this for myself? Am I not the one who should be going to college? Holy cow. Where did time go? Now I find myself putting my daughter on an airplane with her boyfriend's mom to spend a weekend visiting him in Chicago, and I suddenly think, "Oh my... At some point she will just want to stay there." (I mean, she already does, but someday she will more than likely just stay there.) He's wonderful, and that will be great when it's time, but where did MY time go? I feel like everyone is slipping away...

I'm very proud of my children. I know that my job is to train them up in the way they should go. I know that God will lead them into whatever He has for them, and I am positive He will watch over them always. I'm just left wondering if I spend enough time doing the important things. I think I do, but when they are all grown up and I'm gone, will they remember that? Geez, I hate to get all serious, but it's on my heart today.

Jordan will soon be 18. She will graduate, go on to college, and eventually marry the man that God has prepared for her. (And I'm pretty certain we already know that guy.) They will pursue a life together and someday have children of their own, possibly asking the same questions that I find myself asking now. "Where did time go?" "Am I doing enough?"

Lauren, Cassie, and Kylie will go through the same motions I'm sure. They will complete their educations and move into the life God has for them. I imagine it will be at that time that I will sit and think the most. Have I done what I needed to do up to this point? Of course, part of me wants to interject at this time that if I haven't, darnit I'm too tired to do more anyway. I will tell my children to enjoy every moment, that time goes way too fast, and that they should savor every day of their life no matter what it may bring. I doubt they will take it to heart though, because I didn't, but life will someday show them that time really does fly.