Okay, I give,

I've never been one to make New Year's resolutions. In fact, I've always thought it was dumb. You're just setting yourself up for disappointment most times, as you strive to accomplish something you failed to do the previous year. This year, however, I'm giving in.

My resolution this year is to live. I don't mean to survive day to day, or to not die in 2011, but I'm going to LIVE. So much of my life has been spent in routine, guilting myself out of what I would really like to do, and this year I'm not letting that get me.

I want to travel. No, I can't afford it, but I'm going somewhere this year. There are a lot of places I've always wanted to see, and I intend to mark one of those off my list this year. Even if it's only for a weekend, I'm going for it.

I'm going to work so hard that I don't feel guilty for getting something for myself every once in a while. I avoid buying myself underwear because I think that the money could be spent on something more pressing. (But what could be more pressing than replacing 5-10 year old underwear?) I may even have a pedicure or two. Yes, I could do it myself, but darnit I don't think it will kill me to have someone else treat me a time or two.

Maybe I'm feeling selfish, or maybe I'm just at a point in my life that I'm realizing it's passing me by. I tend to not grab days by the horns and make them into what I want them to be. Too many times I fall victim to what the day brings. Not this year. I'm tired of living by some weird made up standard that's in my head. Heck, this may just be the year I finally get my tattoo.

Jesus didn't sit around trying to follow rules. He grew His hair long, wore comfy clothes, and hung out with his friends. He enjoyed a good party. (I'm so messed up, because this makes me think of a line in a movie about Jesus in a tuxedo shirt saying "I'm here to party".) He loved others and spent time investing in them. I'm not being disrespectful, I'm just saying that Jesus didn't let anyone tell Him how He was supposed to live. He was just connected enough to His Father to be confident in what is right and wrong.

As long as I stay connected to my Father, and that is one thing I plan to work harder at this year, I don't think it's a bad thing for me to just live life. A friend of mine said that she knows a lady that works in a nursing home, and the lady was telling her that the patients she talks to that lived life to the fullest never had regrets. It's the ones that never did things they wanted to do that were saddened by the thought of never having the chance again. This had a profound affect on me. What a joy it would be to look back at my life and say that I didn't leave anything undone. I don't know if that is even possible, but I'm going to start giving it a good fighting try this year.