Tuesday, January 4, 2011

A most wonderful quality...

My kids are joyful. They really inspire me. I would venture to bet that not many parents could say this. It's interesting to see how they are joyful in different ways and for different reasons. Some of this is due to age, and some is due to just general life situation.

The youngest girls just may not know any better, but they seem to find joy in most situations. In fact, when they are most getting on my nerves, I remind myself that it is their sheer joy that is causing me discomfort. I do sometimes have to reel them in a bit, but to have that uninhibited joy and energy around is infectious. Nothing in particular has to happen to bring out this joy, because it just burst out of them in every day situations.

My "middle" child has a more quiet joy. It's like something that is lurking under the surface, just waiting to explode at any moment. She has great self control, much more than I do, even when it comes to her joy. However, it's there, and it's obvious, and it has a great affect on those around her. Her joy is most evident when she is just being plain silly, and she can be silly with the best of us. I also see that joy ooze out of her when she is working with young children. She glows when she has the opportunity to inspire a young life, and this in turn inspires those around her.

My oldest daughter has a joy that leaves her able to deal with things maturely. It puts things in perspective for her. It comes along with a faith that God is in control in all things. She has less self control than her younger sister, and she is more likely to lay things on the line. Different things bring her joy as well. For one, her music brings out the joy in her life. Anyone who has watched her and heard her sing will tell you this. Also, seeing God place the puzzle pieces of her life together makes her burst with joy. Being content in choices she makes because of her confidence in God's plan for her just lays that joy right out there.

Ironically, my kids bring out the joy in my life. There are other things that do it too, but the girls are a big part of it. I don't do a very good job of letting them know that many times, because life is so darn crazy, stressful, and fast. I hope to do a better job at this in 2011. When someone has such a profound affect on your life, you really should let them know about it.

Monday, January 3, 2011

Okay, I give,

I've never been one to make New Year's resolutions. In fact, I've always thought it was dumb. You're just setting yourself up for disappointment most times, as you strive to accomplish something you failed to do the previous year. This year, however, I'm giving in.

My resolution this year is to live. I don't mean to survive day to day, or to not die in 2011, but I'm going to LIVE. So much of my life has been spent in routine, guilting myself out of what I would really like to do, and this year I'm not letting that get me.

I want to travel. No, I can't afford it, but I'm going somewhere this year. There are a lot of places I've always wanted to see, and I intend to mark one of those off my list this year. Even if it's only for a weekend, I'm going for it.

I'm going to work so hard that I don't feel guilty for getting something for myself every once in a while. I avoid buying myself underwear because I think that the money could be spent on something more pressing. (But what could be more pressing than replacing 5-10 year old underwear?) I may even have a pedicure or two. Yes, I could do it myself, but darnit I don't think it will kill me to have someone else treat me a time or two.

Maybe I'm feeling selfish, or maybe I'm just at a point in my life that I'm realizing it's passing me by. I tend to not grab days by the horns and make them into what I want them to be. Too many times I fall victim to what the day brings. Not this year. I'm tired of living by some weird made up standard that's in my head. Heck, this may just be the year I finally get my tattoo.

Jesus didn't sit around trying to follow rules. He grew His hair long, wore comfy clothes, and hung out with his friends. He enjoyed a good party. (I'm so messed up, because this makes me think of a line in a movie about Jesus in a tuxedo shirt saying "I'm here to party".) He loved others and spent time investing in them. I'm not being disrespectful, I'm just saying that Jesus didn't let anyone tell Him how He was supposed to live. He was just connected enough to His Father to be confident in what is right and wrong.

As long as I stay connected to my Father, and that is one thing I plan to work harder at this year, I don't think it's a bad thing for me to just live life. A friend of mine said that she knows a lady that works in a nursing home, and the lady was telling her that the patients she talks to that lived life to the fullest never had regrets. It's the ones that never did things they wanted to do that were saddened by the thought of never having the chance again. This had a profound affect on me. What a joy it would be to look back at my life and say that I didn't leave anything undone. I don't know if that is even possible, but I'm going to start giving it a good fighting try this year.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Here we are, once again...


Christmas has come and gone, and another year is about to come to a close. It's weird how as we get older, the years tick by as mere blips on the radar. The end of the year causes me to be reflective, but it also makes me hopeful for another year to come.

In years past, I had the bright idea that we should have a theme going into January 1st. I believe 2003 was the first one, at least that I can remember. "Become Debt Free in 2003"! Oh please. Don't make me cuss. "Expecting More in 2004" was our next bright idea. How'd that work out for us? NOT TOO GOOD.

So, in 2005, we decided to shoot a little lower.... "Stay Alive in 2005". Praise God! It was one that we accomplished! I don't take it lightly either. It was a lesson learned. Aim low, and you leave less room for disappointment.

So for 2011, I'm wondering what my theme should be? Some things that crossed my mind are.... "Better Than '07, It's 2011" (wouldn't take much).... "New Engines are Revvin' in 2011" (I need a CAR!)... "Let's Make It 7 in 2011".... (Wait for it... Wait for it... and THAT'S A BIG FAT NO.)

I'm thinking an appropriate shot would be "Taking More to Heaven in 2011". I've been pondering a lot about lost people lately, and how I need to live a better witness. Maybe this theme can be my motivation to share with lost souls the hope that Jesus Christ brings to my life. I plan to return to West Virginia in the Summer of 2011 for a "mission trip", but in the mean time, I should be more aware of those around me. I've really fallen down on my job this year. In fact, confession time, I have spent less time in my Bible this year than in a very long time. (I hate for my Junior High girls' Sunday School class to hear that, but I'm going to do better!) Yep, I could say that I've just been busier, but that would not necessarily be true. Fact is, I've been slack. As a result I feel disconnected, almost like I'm wandering around looking for something that is lost. I mean, I can still obviously feel God working in my life, but I haven't done a very good job holding up my end of that relationship. I want to be a good example, and not one of an attempt at perfection. I want to be an example of simple humanity with a dedication and dependence on Christ. It's time that I step up to the plate.

So maybe a more appropriate theme for the upcoming year would be "More Aware of Heaven in 2011". That covers more bases really. I hope it will harken back to the great year of 2005, when we all managed to stay alive.... Come to think of it, that would be another goal for the year that I would certainly like to accomplish.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Better late than never...


It was a December morning, just a little over a week until Christmas, and I woke up to an unusual feeling. Ken had already left for work in Charlotte, and I realized my water had broken. I called him to return, and I decided it was a good idea to call Mom. Jordan needed to get to preschool, and it looked like Ken and I were heading to the hospital.
Turns out, just because your "water" had broken didn't mean a baby was coming that day. So, we settled into the hospital room. That afternoon I started a card game with my hubby, and as I sat in the rocking chair, I had an unusual pain in my back. Yep, it was labor time.
I labored into the night until my doctor decided that it was time to rest. I'm thankful for a doctor who followed my wishes to deliver a baby after having had a c-section. It wasn't easy, and it took a lot of patience on everyone's part, but on Friday morning, my baby girl was born.
She was born during Jordan's preschool Christmas program, so my parents weren't there. The most memorable thing to me is thinking that she looked like a chubby baby version of her daddy! Jordan ended up being sick and having to stay with the grandparents, so daddy and I started our bonding time with little Lauren Ashley.
(We snuggled in bed that night and watched "It's a Wonderful Life". What an appropriate end to an amazing day.)
I can't say enough about what a sweet baby Lauren was. She was joyful, happy, funny baby. She learned quickly and rarely had to be corrected. She is a sweet little sister. As she has grown, she has kept that sweet, level-headed personality. I used to worry about what was going on in the pretty little head of hers, but then I realized that my own need to blurt everything out was just a contrast to her more thoughtful, careful way of dealing with things.
She's a middle child essentially, younger to Jordan, older to her twin sisters. She's a mediator and a peace-maker. She's funny but quiet, although as she's gotten older she has learned that it's fine to tell you what she thinks. (She's quite honest!) She's stylish and beautiful, and she carries herself so well. She is dedicated to living for Christ, and I'm excited to see what He has in store for her.
She's a genuis, a golfer, a talented singer, she's a leader who can follow, and she has a heart for children. This past summer, I was able to watch her at work with the less fortunate kids of West Virginia that we ministered to, and it was a true blessing. She is still the personification of her preschool indian name, Bright Star, and she brightens our lives every day.
Thank you, Lord, for Lauren. She is such a blessing to us.

Monday, December 13, 2010

The most wonderful time of the year?

The hustle and the bustle tends to stress me every year, as my husband reminds me when I mention that I'm stressed out. "You are always stressed out from Thanksgiving to Christmas", says Ken. Truly, I always just let my surroundings have an impact on me, making me feel the stress of the craziness swirling around me. People become ruder, seem to be more pushed for time, and are just totally missing the entire idea of what this season is supposed to mean.

So why do I allow everyone around me to control how I feel about the season? Why do I struggle year in and year out from Thanksgiving to Christmas? I've been giving that some thought this year. I'm still losing myself in trying to make others happy. I wonder how I can avoid that? What is it about life that causes me to lose my focus this time of year?

I hear other women talking about making gifts, spending time with friends, and intricately decorating their homes. Well, I'm not terrible crafty, and who has time, I only have a few friends and they're pretty busy, and again who has time, and I can't afford to decorate my home intricately. Am I complaining? Well, not really. I just can't allow myself to get caught up in trying to do all of these things. I can't worry about everyone else's happiness. I have to just relax and enjoy my own little world, however different it may be from others'.

In a news story I heard this morning, they were discussing how to deal with family during the holidays. The entire story was how each family has so many problems, and how those are exaggerated during the holiday season. It made me start thinking of things differently....

I can honestly say that when I get together with my family, we have a blast. We don't argue, we don't bicker, we just have an amazingly great time! There is no tension, just loads of fun. Because I don't get to see my cousins very often, we just bask in the glow of our love for each other, as cheesy as that sounds, and enjoy each other's families. Anyone that would join us would be amazed at how close we are and how much love they feel among us. We are all hard-working, busy, God-fearing people that enjoy laughing and just having a great time but don't get to do it often enough.

This brings me to my wrap-up. I don't have a lot of girlfriends to just get together with and do girly things. (And the ones I do have just don't have time to get together and do girly things!) I don't have a lot of money to do extravagant things for Christmas. I do have a family that loves me no matter what, children that are already planning to adopt a child in a third world country for their Christmas present, a husband that brings joy to most any day, but most of all a Savior who constantly reminds me of what Christmas really should mean.

No hustle, no bustle... Just a baby in a manger. Just a Savior Who came to Earth in flesh and blood only to give His life for me and for you. So, even though I find myself wanting to skip Christmas every year, this year I will be still and remember the real reason for the season. Thank you, Lord.

Monday, November 29, 2010

It's getting a little nippy...

,
I mean, I know it's the end of November, but I am just amazed at how chilly it is today! Thanksgiving behind us, Christmas in front of us, and who really knows what is in between?
I have been very excited lately for some reason, but I'm keeping it deep inside. As a result, I've spent the past few weeks being very quiet. Several people have asked me if I'm okay, and I am, just a little introspective it seems.
I just feel like God is about to do something in my life. This happens every once in a while, and it's always an uneasy, exciting, tiring, thoughtful time. Anticipation can be exhausting. These are the times that I pray the most, just asking the Lord to bring me peace in all the thoughts churning in my head and my heart.
Those closest to me understand and have ridden along with me in this journey a few times. Good, bad, or indifferent, I'm not sure what's coming. Sometimes I wonder if it is just God's way of drawing me closer, and if it is I welcome it with open arms.
Job is going well, and it's been a fun new adventure. New people, new responsibilities, and new hours! Working nights is sure different for me, and it's not too bad. It's the nights that I'm not working and lying awake that are the toughest! I'm so thankful to have the new job though. It's a blessing in many ways. While I miss my school friends, I'm happy that God has given me a new opportunity.
Thanksgiving brought so many thoughts of what I'm thankful for. Instead of bringing me to think of all that I have, it took me to all that I need to be doing. My mind and heart are very ministry focused, but I can't figure out what direction the Lord wants me to go. For now, I lean in toward my family, my children, and I wait on what is next. If you catch me being quiet, it's because I'm listening for what the Lord may be telling me or where He may be leading. I'm being still on purpose, and I'm holding on for opportunities to experience His joy more fully and to share His love.
Give thanks with a grateful heart, and be still and know that He is God.

Monday, November 15, 2010

I'm a roadie at heart...

Yes, I believe Tina and I are rocker chicks at heart. We decided that we would make pretty good roadies. Friday was just an incredible start to a wonderful weekend!

I am so blessed to be a part of a church that reaches out and touches the lives of the teenagers of our community. Just as big a blessing is the fact that we held a Christian concert at a public school with so much support. The local Fellowship of Christian Athletes was the catalyst really, and in the end we had at least 350 people in attendance! More importantly, lives were rocked for Christ. I know at least one young man was saved, because I saw him wracked with tears of release, a peace in his eyes that you just can't explain to someone who doesn't have it. I know that many other lives were changed, because it would be impossible for us to attend an event like this one and not be changed.


Due to my fabulous new job, I was able to commit myself to the entire day Friday. We started at about 10 a.m. with the arrival of DecembeRadio. (Aren't they just the cutest things? A bunch of cool, handsome, Godly guys, standing with two old motherly women. haha... Sorry, Tina.) We were all overwhelmed I think at the hearts of these guys. It was just evident that God uses them as they minister through their music. When all was said and done, I can honestly say that they were one of the best bands (if not THE VERY BEST) I have EVER heard in concert. They were amazing.


Also included in our day was a band called The Museum. Yet another adorable groups of guys using their talents to glorify the Lord. It's just fun to be around guys like this, especially for the younger kids that helped us, because they are evidence that you can serve the Lord and still be who you are... unique individuals.


Later in the day, Billly Wayne, Jacob, Carmen, and Derek arrived to join us. When they come into town, it's like family has arrived. They are all so precious and loved. Their ministry and their hearts for the Lord are just so inspiring. Billy is so bold in how he deals with everyone, and there is never a question about where he stands on anything. People like him are my favorites. Jacob is just a joy, and he always makes everyone smile. Derek is just adorable, and his willingness to be a part of this ministry inspires me. There aren't many young guys out there that are as mature in their spiritual walk. You very quickly see that Carmen is the balance for them all, the steady that brings the calm in the midst of these three male tornados! (And I mean this in the very best of ways!) Unfortunately, I didn't take the time to really get to know the older couple that was with them, but I have to say that they were just the cutest little things!


I am so thankful that my kids could be a part of it all. Cassie and Kylie were only there for a small time, but they at least got to experience a bit of the excitement we were all feeling through the afternoon's festivities. Jordan spent the whole day though, and I won't steal the thunder from her blog, but suffice is to say that she had one of the most amazing days she has ever had I believe. Lauren came in later, after school, but she still was able to be a close up part of what was going on, and she was even able to step onto the tour bus. What a night for us all.


Our youth ministry just can't be beat. God has blessed so much, and I am so happy to be a small part of what He is doing. The leaders I work with are just Godly people that enjoy doing His work. We had more fun than anyone should ever be allowed to, in Jesus' name! Our youth leader Scott.... gee whiz.... what can I say.... I love him like a son, and he and his wife are just more of a blessing to more people than they every really could know. I am so proud of how they have remained faithful to what the Lord has for them, and I admire them for their perseverance. I know God is going to continue just blessing their socks off! (We at Buck Creek are honored to have them as a part of our ministry team!!!)


Yes, I was tired, because I am kind of an old lady now, but I can't imagine having not been a part of Friday. It was one of the most fabulous days of ministry I have ever been a part of. My spirit longs for more opportunities like this. I pray that God will lead me to more chances to serve. I pray that He will lead my children as they seek to do His will. I pray for Decemberadio and The Museum that they will continue to glorify God. For Billly, Jacob, Carmen, and Derek, I pray that God will continue to bless their ministry beyond measure. For the Buck Creek youth ministry and Chesnee High School FCA, I know God will continue to use us as long as we exhalt His Holy Name!!