After 10 years of being basically healthy, I'm going under the knife. It's weird when I really think about it, so I'm trying not to!
I have ruptured a disk. I have no idea how it happened or when, but it happened. A fragment of the disk is now resting on the L5/S1 nerve root. I don't really know what that means except that I'm in constant pain, but it sounds professional of me, doesn't it? The doc says that although it's pretty bad, it could mend itself but would take possibly 6 months or more. I told him I didn't think I had 6 months to invest. I have four kids, a husband, a household, and a full time job. Does that sound like someone that has time to hurt for 6 months or more?
Everyone has advice, bless them, good and not so good. I finally told Ken that I wanted to just have my surgery alone and get over it without anyone interfering. For those of you who offered kind words, thank you. For those of you that said something horrible, I forgive you. For future reference, don't tell someone who is having back surgery under general anesthesia that your aunt had that same surgery and went into a coma, only waking up weeks later to realize she could no longer walk. I'm sure you just meant to be a blessing.
I have realized through the pain that I am tremendously blessed with some good friends. I've had offers of meals, transportation for the kids, and most importantly, prayers. God is so good. My family is wonderful, and I must brag on my husband and kids. Although he acts like it's killing him sometimes, my hubby has picked up so many loose ends and has been so very helpful. My girls? Gosh... I just can't say enough. They have done chore after chore, being asked and not being asked, and when I ask they don't balk one bit. Who raised these kids anyway? It's a time when I'm thankful to have 4 independent, well-adjusted daughters. Did I mention that God is so good?
So, now I head into the great unknown. I have a week to prepare. I think I will lie here. Well, that, and I'll boss the fam around to let them know what needs to be done before I go. They don't have much to worry with though, and the surgery will only be outpatient. If you have some encouraging words, thanks. If you have an unfortunate aunt, please keep that to yourself.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
This has been the strangest week! It all started as a simple ache in my left hip, just a little over a week ago. By Sunday, I was pushing myself to go to church, but decided I couldn't teach my Junior High girls' class through tears. On my way to church, I called Ken to let him know I was dropping off the girls and returning home.
I was in a lot of discomfort by the time I got home. I just couldn't get comfortable at all. I knew that a visit to Dr. Hess was in store for Monday. It was the first doctor visit for me since 2009, so that tells you how rare it is for me to have to handle illness. This pain was reminiscent of my worst psoriatic arthritis flares, and actually even worse.
Dr. Hess immediately felt that I had a rotated pelvis and did a little therapy on me while suggesting some exercises. He gave me Lortab to help ease the pain until it subsided, and I went on my merry way.
Long story longer, I found myself Tuesday evening with intense pain down my leg with parts of my lower leg numb, and eventually no feeling at all in my foot. Walking was horrible, sitting was nearly impossible, and lying down was tolerable but still painful. It looked like another visit was in store for me.
Well, Wednesday Dr. Hess decided that it was time for an MRI. His main concern was the loss of strength in my leg and lack of feeling in my foot. He mentioned a bulging disk, threw out the words "spinal consult" and "surgery". I was relieved when he threw out the word "prednisone" because I knew that would bring some help for the swelling, hopefully easing the pain.
I'm hanging in there. Walking is the worst part. My leg gives out occassionally, and that's freaking me out a little. I'm not walking much though. Walking in pain is just too humbling and exhausting to do in public right now. I'm hoping for a simple explanation, pain relief, and the feeling back in my leg and foot. I look forward to getting back to life as usual next week, or so I hope. I trust that the Lord has it all under control, and there was a reason He wanted me to be still and listen to Him this week. I've tried my very best to take it all in, just so I don't miss anything that He may want me to catch.
Through all the pain, it's been restful and reflective. It's been really cool to have friends praying for me. I've had to let go of letting everyone down this week and having others pick up the slack, and I've had to just deal with things as best I can. My family is cool and tolerant, my friends are kind and encouraging, and my God is still in control. Now if I can just be still in that MRI machine....