It's unusual for me to blog on a weekend, but my mind is swirling with so many thoughts. It was a weird Saturday, and I think I need to address it.
I'm not writing this to embarrass anyone, but I hope to encourage someone through this. Most of all, I just hope to ease my own mind, this old mamma, so that I can move ahead with what I've learned and apply it to the future with all four daughters. I also want to say that I'm quite proud of my daughter for what she has been through this weekend and for the grace with which she has handled it.
My oldest daughter has been dating the same young man since June of last year. A record for sure, as her closest previously recorded relationship was just 6th months. This one was different anyway, as she felt so strongly that he was the guy that God had chosen for her to spend her life with. He has many qualities that she felt were right for her, and she had a connection there that was obvious to everyone around them. She has stood by him through his choice of following his dream, and she's loved him, supported him, and prayed for him as he's been away.
The season changed. He ended their relationship. One would expect wailing and tears, but there was peace and contentment. There was a sense of resolve that if he isn't the one God has prepared, there must be someone wonderful out there. (Or around here? Who knows?) She walked out of that room with maturity that I should have never doubted. She ate a bite of lunch, and she started removing pictures from her wall. She counted her t-shirts to realize that she only had two that didn't have something about her supporting him on it. She decided that she could buy more t-shirts. The season changed.
For me, it's been strange because I was prepared to be supportive. I was prepared to cry with her, and I was ready to be a shoulder to cry on. What I wasn't prepared for is such an abrupt ending to such a sweet relationship, and I just wasn't prepared for how beautifully she would handle it. I'm not sure why I would expect any less, but it's been funny for me as a mom.
I believe we make choices every day that affect our future. While I think that God prepares a way for us and has a plan for us, I think that plan is more of a big picture of us serving Him. Furthermore, the choices we make lead us to different places in our lives. Sometimes, choices lead us through some unsavory places, but eventually, if we love the Lord, He brings it all together. (Romans 8:28) Sometimes the choices other people make affect our lives as well, but we can hold on to the fact that God has that big plan for us, and that should bring us such peace. None of us know what the future holds, but for those of us that know Who holds our future, it makes it okay.
So in the midst of the weird day yesterday, and the strange weekend, I have seen Christian friends pull together to encourage, and I have been amazed once again at the grace that God has shown to and through one of my children. My heart didn't even have time to ache for her, and I'm beginning to see that it doesn't need to. A part of our life has changed. We love him and wish him the best. I committed to pray for him daily when he left home, and I will honor my commitment until he's done.
I praise God for what He has taught my daughter, and I thank Him for helping her to see that no matter what, He has it all under control. I'm grateful that she holds tight to her faith and keeps her focus on Christ. I'm thankful that she has Christian friends that love her and always stick by her, some for many years through a lot of "schtuff". I also praise God for reminding me to trust Him, because He knows what is best for my kids even when it's different from what I expected.