Wednesday, September 29, 2010

It's a brand new day....

No deep words of wisdom or funny stories to share today, so I thought instead that I would share with you some quotes and one-liners I have run across here and there. Enjoy!
"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice." Bill Cosby
"Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before." Mae West
"Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time." Stephen Wright
"I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific."
Lilly Tomlin
"I found there was only one way to look thin. Hang out with fat people." Rodney Dangerfield
Now just a few one-liners....
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
A day without sunshine is, like, night.
Always remember that you're unique, just like everyone else.
Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.
Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home.
Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
How does Teflon stick to the pan?
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Things are more like they are now than they ever have been before.
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
Hope these made you smile!

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