The calm...

Nine years ago, September 9, 2001, was like any other day in my life. I got up with my four girls, helped the oldest two get ready for school, and came back to spend the morning doing my duties as a full time mother of twin girls less than a year old. Not a thought crossed my mind that my life was about to change, and I was oblivious to what was about to happen.

I don't know if I will ever live in that same level of comfort again. While I do live in peace that God has everything under control, I will never be so naive to think that means "normalcy" each day. I now live my life on the edge a little, knowing that at any moment things can change. 9 years ago helped me never to take a day for granted again.

I had plans to take Mom out to lunch for her birthday on September 10. That's all I had planned. God had other things in the works, and we just had no idea. Things were about to happen that would rattle me to my very core and cause me to this day to become emotional when I allow it to enter my mind. In fact, many times I wonder if it has done some damage deep down inside me, because for a long time I would become physically ill during this time of year without even realizing I was thinking about it. It was THAT huge to me, and to this day it shapes the way I think about everything.

Most people remember September 11, 2001 as a day that changed history. My history began to change on September 10, 2001. My life and the lives of my family would never be the same after that day. I hope I can muster the strength tomorrow to tell you all about it without making myself physically sick.

The only thing that gets me through is knowing that God has a plan in everything that He does. Romans 8:28 says that all things work together for the good of those that love God. I sure do love Him, and my faith ensures that He is working daily in my life. Even when an unexpected day comes along, even if it's a huge one, I rest in knowing that He has everything under control.

Another brief note...

There is a lot of joy in my home lately, as if it is just oozing out of the walls. It seems to be contagious! Last night, I enjoyed watching my kids dance around in the floor like crazy women, and this was actually my two older girls. We laughed until we cried, literally rolling on the floor holding our stomachs. You know, there is nothing like living out loud. There is just nothing like being able to dance when you want to dance, laugh when you want to laugh, and sing when you want to sing. Even despite occassional circumstances that may make us stop for a moment, the living just gets better and better when we follow the rules above. Obviously, I know that Heaven is a long way from Earth, but if we lived like we are one step closer each day, what a wonderful world it would be.

Today, I wish you JOY! I hope you will dance, laugh, sing, and love, and don't forget to live every day as if you really mean it!

Briefly venting...

I cannot, nor have I ever claimed to be able to, repair your computers! I did not study technology in college. Quite frankly, I don't have a clue how computers work at all. I simply take the time to make sure things are plugged in and turned on. Please don't have any misconceptions about me. I am good at a lot of things, but computers are not really my job.

Sincerely,
Karen

Seasons change..

It's unusual for me to blog on a weekend, but my mind is swirling with so many thoughts. It was a weird Saturday, and I think I need to address it.

I'm not writing this to embarrass anyone, but I hope to encourage someone through this. Most of all, I just hope to ease my own mind, this old mamma, so that I can move ahead with what I've learned and apply it to the future with all four daughters. I also want to say that I'm quite proud of my daughter for what she has been through this weekend and for the grace with which she has handled it.

My oldest daughter has been dating the same young man since June of last year. A record for sure, as her closest previously recorded relationship was just 6th months. This one was different anyway, as she felt so strongly that he was the guy that God had chosen for her to spend her life with. He has many qualities that she felt were right for her, and she had a connection there that was obvious to everyone around them. She has stood by him through his choice of following his dream, and she's loved him, supported him, and prayed for him as he's been away.

The season changed. He ended their relationship. One would expect wailing and tears, but there was peace and contentment. There was a sense of resolve that if he isn't the one God has prepared, there must be someone wonderful out there. (Or around here? Who knows?) She walked out of that room with maturity that I should have never doubted. She ate a bite of lunch, and she started removing pictures from her wall. She counted her t-shirts to realize that she only had two that didn't have something about her supporting him on it. She decided that she could buy more t-shirts. The season changed.

For me, it's been strange because I was prepared to be supportive. I was prepared to cry with her, and I was ready to be a shoulder to cry on. What I wasn't prepared for is such an abrupt ending to such a sweet relationship, and I just wasn't prepared for how beautifully she would handle it. I'm not sure why I would expect any less, but it's been funny for me as a mom.

I believe we make choices every day that affect our future. While I think that God prepares a way for us and has a plan for us, I think that plan is more of a big picture of us serving Him. Furthermore, the choices we make lead us to different places in our lives. Sometimes, choices lead us through some unsavory places, but eventually, if we love the Lord, He brings it all together. (Romans 8:28) Sometimes the choices other people make affect our lives as well, but we can hold on to the fact that God has that big plan for us, and that should bring us such peace. None of us know what the future holds, but for those of us that know Who holds our future, it makes it okay.

So in the midst of the weird day yesterday, and the strange weekend, I have seen Christian friends pull together to encourage, and I have been amazed once again at the grace that God has shown to and through one of my children. My heart didn't even have time to ache for her, and I'm beginning to see that it doesn't need to. A part of our life has changed. We love him and wish him the best. I committed to pray for him daily when he left home, and I will honor my commitment until he's done.

I praise God for what He has taught my daughter, and I thank Him for helping her to see that no matter what, He has it all under control. I'm grateful that she holds tight to her faith and keeps her focus on Christ. I'm thankful that she has Christian friends that love her and always stick by her, some for many years through a lot of "schtuff". I also praise God for reminding me to trust Him, because He knows what is best for my kids even when it's different from what I expected.

Another Friday...

... And I am so thankful for that. This week actually went by pretty fast, and I am even more thankful for that!

I didn't blog yesterday morning because I was bombarded early to get things done before my work day even began. I'm not really blogging today either, because I don't want to be a downer!

This day didn't start off very well. It was just a bad morning. Like I said earlier in the week, standing for what is right can be very difficult and can really beat you down. I think I am just feeling a little beaten down.

On top of everything, they've added more responsibility to me at work while not giving us the annual step raise and docking us 5 furlough days. That hurts. No use in complaining about it, because there are a lot of people in the same situation and much worse. (I need to be thankful to have a job!) It's funny though, when we got our checks last week, a friend of mine said that the furlough cut from our paychecks wasn't too awful bad. She said, "When you take nothin' from nothin', you get nothin'!" So true!

I do hope you all have a great Friday. I will muddle through, pray a lot, listen to some praise music, and do the best job I can no matter what my resources may be. Happy weekend, everyone.

This is only a test....

This is a test of the Mauney emergency broadcast blog system....

I blogged about faith, and mine was tested with a horrible, no good, awful, really bad day. I was bombarded from every side with just loads of it, and at the end of the day, I was drained. Faith still standing, I felt like I had been through the gauntlet.

I blogged about love. Those around me pushed me, pulled me, threw me curve balls, and were just downright unlovely. I wanted to scream, curse, and cry, but in the end my love withstood and I survived.

Today I blog about testing. It will be a brief blog, but this acknowledges the power of who we are and what it can sometimes cause. You see, those of us who are Christians stand for something HUGE. We stand on moral ground, defending the very things that Christ stood for. This dang world we live in just doesn't like it one bit. The devil himself really hates it. In return, there are fiery arrows being flung at us from all angles sometimes, and we just have to hold up our shield of faith and deflect them as best we can.

If life is going swimmingly and you never have any problems, take a look at how you're living. Are you pushing limits for Christ? Are you standing for Him? Are you trying your best to live a positive, impactful life? Hmm... I think if you are answering "yes" to those, you can't be living a life without problems left and right.

"So", you may say, "why bother?" I bother because I prefer to serve the God of all Gods, the Lord of all the Earth, the One and Only Who saved me and has prepared a place in eternity for me, and I prefer to stand for something worthy of all my praise and glory. As the saying goes, if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything.

I truly hope this day will be better and that I won't be tested about being tested. However, if I am, I'm sure you'll hear about it tomorrow.

This concludes the test of the Mauney emergency broadcast blog system... This was only a test.....

Falling out?

There is an epidemic sweeping the nation, and it's one of catastrophic proportions. It may very well have a greater impact on our society than any other epidemic ever has even come close to. It's causing children great pain, adults great strife, and it's destroying families one household at a time. Divorce. The "D" word. The unmentionable in our house.

Most of the time, the reasons I hear for people abandoning their spouse is so super lame. My number one favorite is "I just don't love him/her any more" or "We've just fallen out of love". Oh, please don't go there with me. You can't fall out of love. Love isn't an emotion that you can just suddenly push aside. You either love someone or you don't. In fact, I'm going to go one step further and say that love is a choice. To love or not to love is YOUR choice. At some point, you have to make a conscious decision to love someone. It's an action based on a feeling maybe, but it's an action none the less.

Here's what really happens. Life gets crappy. You begin to struggle. In your mind, your spouse has become a slacker. You just can't get on the same page. Things begin to crumble bit by bit, and the thought sneaks in that it would be better "if only". Your mind begins to cloud, and the thoughts seeping in make you believe that if your weren't with the person you're with, your life would be better. Suddenly, you decide you don't love them anymore, when in reality you have just made the choice not to.

I know that when you meet that special someone in the beginning, you have this warm, fuzzy feeling that you just can't shake. I know that when you are around them, there is just something within you that turns flips and rattles around and just makes you feel weak at the knees. People mistake this for love all the time. I do believe that it is an indicator that you have an attraction to a person, but we should never think of that as love. Love is what you choose to do when you feel that attraction to the person that you feel you just can't live without.

Biblically, we are commanded to love. John 13:34-35 says, "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." While this command goes far beyond a spousal relationship, let's apply it there. It's a command. We must love. God didn't say "A new command I give you: Be happy. Have the time of your life. Feel butterflies in your stomach every time he/she is around. If things get rough, bail out because you deserve it." Give me a break.

Don't get me wrong, most of us have times that we question our relationships. It's those times that God gives us the opportunity to choose whether to love or not. It kind of goes back to that thought of having faith. It's a big step sometimes to put ourselves out there, because it may mean that we get hurt at times. However, if God can love someone as unlovely as me enough to send his Son to die for me, shouldn't I choose to love as well?

So, the answer to the epidemic we are facing is love. The answer is faith. The answer is a trust in God that He is in control. The irreversible damage that is being done to our society could be repaired if we would simply choose to love.